Punk Charisma

Chapter 4

She turns away from me and I quickly stand up straight. Catching up to her, making sure I fix things. I wouldn't stand myself if I end the night like this. I wouldn't forgive myself most importantly...

"Fuck, Lina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way," I curse.

I grab her arm, turning her around gently. Her eyes bloody red, with tears stuck in her lower lid. When peoples say you can't hear your heart shatter, that's a damn lie.

"Hey, you said it yourself. Rather not have anyone knowing, right?" She uses my words against me.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want you to be under the eye of media. It's a nasty world out there," I explain.

"Just let me go, please," she tugs her arm away.

"Lina, please. I don't want this to end," I beg.

"Want what to end? We don't have anything," she laughs.

"Don't be like that, you know there's something," I take a step towards her.

"Yea something between you and your girlfriend, now goodbye Luke," she walks off to Sophie.

She grabs Sophie, dragging her out the bowling alley. The boys glare at me, knowing this is all my fault. I curse under my breath, tugging at the roots of my hair. How the hell could I have just let her go like that. I'm a fucking dick.

"What the hell did you fucking do?" Michael's face full of anger.

I run out the bowling alley to try and find her, but she's no where to be seen. My mind is racing at speeds not human; worrying about how she's going go out at night like this, it's completely pitch black outside. I don't have her phone number to call her either, which heightens my anxiety. I slam my foot into the concrete wall, frustration challenging me. The door of the alley opens and I turn around to find Calum walking up to me.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, "hey, it's alright. We all make mistakes, it's not the end of the world."

"I don't have her number or anything. I fucking stupid," I shake my head.

"She's just a girl, mate. Don't get so caught up in it, it's not like anything could of happened. You have Arzaylea," he responds.

"I know, but something is weird. I feel like I need to continue further on with her," I pull at my roots.

"You can't do that shit," he frowns, "you don't even know this girl."

"I've gotten to know her a lot more in one day than I have known Arzaylea," I raise my brows.

"I think you're just too light hearted, you don't know how to let go," he shakes his head.

"Not fucking true, have you seen me with you boys?" I note.

"Yea, but it's different when it comes to girls. I feel like you get too hooked to them, like you rely on them more than you rely on your own mates," he sighs.

I stay silent for a moment, analyzing his words over and over in my head. Could I really be to reliant on girls more than my best friends?

"All I'm saying is, you're not the same Luke I knew back in high school," he pats my shoulder before going back into the building.

I curse under my breath, kicking the concrete once again. This time gaining pain in my toes from the impact. Why does this have to happen to me, I've always been good. I don't fuck around like the other boys do, so what gives life the right to fuck around with my life like this.

God, I can only imagine how pissed Ashton must be. Ashton's the scariest when angry and it only accrues once in a blue moon. That blue moon will fuck you over till you're bleeding and crying for mercy.

I walk back inside the building, not really wanting to, but I have to face what's coming for me. The boys are huddled together by the ball racks, talking amongst each other. My feet drag themselves there, Calum and Michael give me that certain look of annoyance, but Ashton pats my shoulder with a pity smile.

"It's okay, mate. Don't kick your ass over this," he speaks up.

"I'm not gonna kick my ass," I shake my head, "Calum is right, I'm just over thinking. I don't need some girl I barely know; I have a great girlfriend."

"Are you sure?" Michael raises curiosity.

"Yea, I'm totally fine," I nod, the lying only burning a scar deeper into my chest.

"She was really sweet though," Michael responds.

"I don't need her," I say through my teeth.

He nods, putting his hands into his front pockets. His eyes stare down at the ground as if he's despaired. Did he really miss her like I do? Or does he just miss her because he hates me with Arzaylea?

I know he's always hated her, pretending to like her for media, but behind them he'll talk shit without a censor. Although he's a bitch when saying it to my face; if he's caught, he knows I'll come after him. Which I do at times, but denies he's said anything. Which only pisses me off more.

"Alright, I think we should all be hitting the road for Yakima tonight," Ashton breaks the void.
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*Lina's POV*

"Come on Lina, I don't think he meant it in that way. He probably just wanted to protect you," Sophie pouts.

"You're just saying that so you can go back to Ashton," I roll my eyes, "I don't need your company, if you want to go hang out with him. Then go."

Sophie frowns, "that's not true at all. I mean yea all of four of those boys are great, and I'm sure they wouldn't do anything for us to be in a position that we wouldn't want to be in."

"So what I am I suppose to do? Go back there, begging for him to take me back? We're not a couple, we're just two other fan girls that they just wanted to fuck around with."

Her facial expression changes dynamically; disrespected, I would describe it as. We walk in silence for a few minutes, listening to our feet crunch the fallen leaves. This season of Autumn is my ultimate favorite I've experienced; the slightly warm air swirling around the atmosphere and the bright orange and yellow leaves falling slowly down to the ground. Some landing on our heads as we walk, giving us a crown to show its beauty.

"You know, I thought that same thing when we were first getting to know them in the bus, but once we got into the bowling alley. I just saw a whole different side of them, they're regular teenagers like us. They want to have fun; chill out, be regular destructive teens, do illegal shit, but they can't because people follow them everywhere they go. I'd be terrified if I were in their place, especially if I had millions of girls crushing on me who would be heartbroken in a second by being caught with someone. Everyone that watches them expects them to be what they want them to be, not how they want to be for themselves," she preaches.

"So before you jump to conclusions, take some time to analyze all the possibilities. Cut some people slack. No one's perfect, we all make mistakes and we all change our minds on what we once thought was right," she adds, speeding up her pace, leaving me behind to reminisce.