insanity // h.s

one

Song Of The Chapter;
Hold Onto Me- Mayday Parade.

Harry's POV

It's been exactly 37 days since she died. I remember her passing like it was yesterday. She knew that she was going to die that day, you could tell by her constant goodbyes she uttered along to people, and how she always offered a kind smile as many times as she could.
I suppose that's one of the things I loved most about her. She always seemed to think of the positive things, and always had the most beautiful smile on her face. Even when she was laying on her death bed, quite literally.

She was the most important thing to me, I would have done anything for her. She didn't deserve to die, but I guess I have to be glad that she isn't in pain anymore. Now, walking through the cold streets of London, my thoughts are consumed by her, as always.
Only today is a bit more intolerable.

Today would have been her 21st birthday.

I made a promise to not only myself, but to her, that I would try to go out today.

It's been nearly impossible for me to do, I've spent most of my days indoors sulking since the day she left.
My family and friends have been worried about me, my phone never stopped ringing the first week she died, and my mum comes by to check up on me at least 4 days a week.
I haven't talked to her family since her funeral, I guess I'm too much of a wimp to face them.

I snap out of my thoughts when I reach the store that I've been walking to; a clothing store.
My mums convinced me that I need some new t-shirts and maybe a few flannels, since I haven't bought much for myself after Katherine was diagnosed.

I'm rummaging through some flannels, trying to find something I like, when my name is called from a voice behind me.

"Harry?"

I turn my head to the direction it came from, and my heart stops.

There stood Katherine's older sister, Michelle.

"Oh wow, it is you. I haven't heard from you in awhile, how've you been?" She asks.

"I uh, I've been okay, I guess," I answer, scratching the back of my head.

She offers me a small smile, "good, I'm glad. You need to come by soon. My parents miss you."

I shuffle awkwardly on my feet before responding, "I didn't think they'd want to see me."

"Why wouldn't they," she asks, "it's not like it was your fault Harry. She had cancer, her death didn't have to do with anything you did."

Suddenly, I forgot about the stupid flannels and t-shirt. I didn't want to be out anymore, talking to someone about Katherine's death wasn't something I could handle well, and I could slowly feel my break down coming.

"I uh, I gotta go," I quickly said, brushing past her and rushing out the door.

Of course, it had to start pouring down rain as soon as I stepped out of the fucking store. I really need to start getting my shit together, I can't mope around the rest of my life, Katherine would have wanted me to move on and be happy. Not be so upset that I can't even have a simple conversation with her sister.

The rain seems to pour down faster the more I walk, so I eventually duck inside yet another store to keep cover and pull my pathetic self together.

The smell of coffee immediately hits me, telling me I've stepped into a coffee shop. Lucky for me, no one is here besides the person working behind the counter, allowing me to gather my thoughts in peace.