Fire Scarred

Chapter Twelve

     I stood at Noah's doorstep ready to apologize for everything and ask that we just be friends. The oxygen I was so desperately needing couldn't seem to force its way past the giant lump in my throat. My hands seemed permanently fixed to my sides like I was a toy soldier. At least if I were a soldier, I would be able to march away. But, no. My feet were rooted in the same spot I'd been standing in for the last five minutes; my eyes still trained on the closed door before me. With the deepest breath I could muster, my fist landed against the door. I waited.

     It must've been only thirty seconds before someone came to the door, but it was long enough for me to turn away and start jumping down the steps. There was no way I could do it. I was too scared and far too nervous. I couldn't do it.

     "Hey, Cora! Wait up!" Josh called from behind me. My sigh of relief could have been heard in China.

     "Hey." I slowly turned myself around and gave him a genuine smile.

     He asked half joking, "What's with the ding-dong ditching?"

     I bit my bottom lip. "I, er. . . Is Noah around?"

     Josh's eyes flashed with pain and then quickly switched to betrayal. "Uh, no. He's over at Georgia's and Raylynn's. A few of the cabins have been rebuilt, and theirs happened to be one of them."

     "Oh. Okay. Thanks," I replied. My body pivoted away from his as I prepared to sprint off towards the girls' cabins.

     "Wait!" he latched on to my wrist and spun me back towards him. "Why don't you wait here, and I'll call him and tell him to come back. I haven't seen you in a while. We could talk . . . or something."

     I gave him my best confused look. "That's okay. I kind of wanted to talk to all of y'all together, but I need to talk to Noah first."

     "Cora-" he began, but stopped himself. "Alright. Text me later when you are ready to talk."

     "Will do."

     I hummed to myself as I made my way down the path. A bit of my nerves had worn off from my talk with Josh. And even though he was acting weird--weirder than normal, that is--, I liked being around him again. It made me feel like everything would be okay and return to normal soon.

     This time I didn't hesitate to knock. My hand contacted the door even before my feet hit the landing. My new found good mood had supplied me with just the confidence I'd needed to talk things over with Noah. I was ready.

     After waiting a minute or two, I knocked again, still without a reply. A thud from the other side of the door and noise from the TV told me someone was inside, and I figured they just hadn't heard me. My fingers wound themselves around the cool metal door knob twisting it to the right. The door swung open to reveal to figures lounging on the couch. Horizontal. Too much skin touching. Hands everywhere. My smile fell.

     Oh. My. Freaking. Goodness.

     "Oh, gosh," I muttered, having a hard time swallowing back the bile that had formed in the back of my throat. My cheeks flamed red, but then turned to cold ash.

     Those two words were what broke Georgia and Noah from whatever trance they had put themselves in. My eyes darted between the two, and then I tried to avert my gaze as much as possible without looking weak or ashamed.

     My voice was stunningly calm when I spoke. "I need to talk to you, Noah. Outside."

     His pale face and wide eyes nodded. I turned my back, stepped out of the cabin, and slammed the door behind me with a wave of my hand. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch something. Every part of me was broken, battered, and thrown to the wind like nothing and no one could be bothered with it. I wanted my frustrations and anger known. I wanted to destroy something. I wanted to let out some of the growing anger inside of me. I needed to do something.