St Jimmy

Chapter 19- Stuck With Me

He dropped me off at the end of Liam’s street. I slipped him what I owed, and thanked him. I really wasn’t looking forward to facing Liam. After what happened the previous night, everything was going to be really awkward.

I climbed the stairs slowly up to his apartment, my feet scuffed and I could feel my shoes wearing out. I knocked on the door quietly. I was afraid of talking about what happened. He opened the door.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” he stressed.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry...I...I...” I jolted back afraid of him. He saw that he was angry that I was scared of him; he tried not to show it. I started to cry again.

“Come here,” he sighed, he opened up his arms and I edged my way inside them. I leant against his warm chest and cried. He held me securely, he still wore his baggy jeans but with a black t-shirt this time. He led me through to the living room and sat me down on the sofa. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s my ex, he left a suicide not on his apartment door, he’s gone,” I sniffed, wiping my tears away. He put his arm around my shoulder and for once, I accepted and leaned against him. I needed someone to comfort me. He didn’t say a word and we sat in silence for five minutes.

He broke the silence with the subject that I dreaded. “Y’know, about last night...” he smirked. I was hoping that this wasn’t the way he was going to take it.

I cut him short, “There’s nothing to say, we were both drunk and hardly anything happened,” I shook my head.

“Well...” he sighed. “I don’t see what’s so wrong about it. I know, I’m sorry for my actions, but I don’t regret them.”

“It’s not right, not now. I have other things to deal with, more important things.”

“Well when?”His smug tone irritated me. Things had been going well; we’d been having a good laugh together up until the previous night. I didn’t reply, he leaned down and kissed my neck.

“Stop it,” I cursed, but he just continued, moving up to my lips. “Stop!” I yelled. This wasn’t what I wanted. I slapped him hard in the face. He looked angry but continued doing what he was doing. He ran his fingers all the way through my tangled hair. I shoved him off and stood by the window. I was so close to a complete breakdown. I looked out into the dark night. It was pretty silent for the typically demanding city. I wished that Liam would just care and be a good friend. I shivered as he approached me. He put his arm around my waist. I didn’t want to anger him so I didn’t do anything about it. Outside I saw a tall figure, I couldn’t tell any details but I saw the light of their cigarette glowing in the dark. Liam kissed my neck as I stared at the figure. I pulled away from him, afraid of what he might do.

“C’mon,” he smirked.

“No...” I sighed. I looked back out the window but the figure was gone.

“What is wrong with you?!” he scowled, taking me by the shoulders.

“I...I...I...don’t,” I stuttered.

“Don’t what?” he whispered, he moved in kissing my lips, I tried to pull away but he was too strong.

“No!” I yelled, I managed to break away frantically.

“Where are you going?” he questioned.

“To the bathroom,” I lied. I was close to tears; I couldn’t take the way my life was going. I ran through to his room and gathered all my belongings that were lying around. I shoved them in my suitcase and dragged it along with my bass into the hall. I nervously re-entered the living room. Liam was standing at the far end of the room, leaning against the wall. He approached me and I backed away. I stopped when I heard a calmer tone in his voice.

“Jett, c’mon, why can’t you just give us a go,” he took me by the shoulders again. I stared into his deep blue eyes. They were overpowering and strong. I didn’t say anything; I just stood there with my mouth open.

“What is wrong with us being together, I love you?”

“You’re drunk!” is all I could say.

“Jett, please!” he begged, gripping me tighter. If none of this had happened over the past few days, I would have eventually dated him.

“Let me go,” I cried. He threw me powerfully down on the sofa and stormed into the kitchen. I lay on the sofa weakly, I sobbed into my hands and my whole body was shaken. I shivered and stretched forward to grab the bud that stood on the table; I downed the rest and stood up feebly. I walked out into the hall and picked up my suitcase and bass. I slyly opened the door and put them out into the corridor. But Liam heard me. I heard him walking out of the kitchen so I quickly shut the door with my stuff on the other side of the door. He saw me at the door.

“Where are you going?” he bit his lip.

“No...No...Nowhere,” I shook. He walked toward me and I frantically fiddled with the lock on the door.

“Your right, you’re not leaving,” he pinned me to the door and kissed my neck. I struggled to shove him off.

“Why can’t you just understand that someone I care about is in trouble and I probably will never see them again!” I sobbed. “Why don’t you care?!”

He didn’t say a word; he just took my head in his hands and stared at my troubled face. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I closed my eyes tight. He kissed my lips again and I couldn’t get away. My hand was still on the lock of the door. I needed to get out, I struggled in his arms. I hated it when Liam was drunk; he was a decent, caring guy when he was completely sober. When he was drunk he was violent and he scared me. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed an escape. I kicked him in the crotch as hard as I could and he jolted back in pain I took the opportunity to unlock the door but I struggled with the chain, it got stuck and I couldn’t get out. Liam walked over to me and slapped me harshly on the cheek. I cried out in pain and gripped my skin hard, my mouth gaping. What had he done? I saw the expression of shock in his eyes; I knew he’d regretted what he’d done. A tear streamed down his face.

“Oh my god Jett, I’m so sorry, please,” he covered his face with his hands. When he took them away, I saw that his eyes were all red. I stood there also in shock, still crying. My life was in turmoil, Jimmy likely dead and my roommate forcing me into a relationship. And now I had nowhere to live

“No...” I coughed shaking my head. He let me open the door and I looked back at his now frail self standing in his hall, I stared at him, tears blurring my vision, I picked up my belongings and slammed the door. I ran as fast as I could down the stairs before standing out in the cold. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew that this was all too much for me to deal with.