Monochrome | Yoongi

一C hrome

Yoongi

Only ten minutes until we go onto the stage. Even from backstage the screams and chants of the full crowd was clearly audible.

Just like every show I was extremely nervous, excited and jumpy. I walked in small circles as I recited the raps I was to perform tonight and went over the dance moves that I felt like I might forget. The rest of Bangtan were doing their own little before show preparations in their own spaces.

Soon we make our way onto the stage, in front of the screaming crowd full the fanbase we have built up overtime. It was wonderful to meet them like this, even if it wasn't upclose with all of them. It was wonderful to know that all of these people had been touched by our music and wanted more-- those things are what makes us as bangtan strive further.

We take a places after the introduction as the first song starts. Fire. One of our most popular songs.

I blinked a few times extra as I felt a pulse of pain throb through my head a few times. It's fine. That sometimes happens when Mija has a headache. Or is it me who has the headache? Using more of my strength, I carried on making sure I was in time with the music and the rest of the group as they took their turns to perform until it was time for my rap.

My part mentions being drunk, swearing on the street. The amount that my head hurt makes me feel as if I was drunk. This headache wasn't mine for sure, I had been keeping up with my sleep and eating like Mija had been reminding me to but a part of me doubted it because the headaches Mija gets are never as intense as this.

I was so concentrated on trying to figure out what was happening with the pain in my head that I didn't notice that the first song was already over. We were having a short break already because of technical difficulties so the whole of bangtan was ushered backstage. Someone part of the backstage crew gave me a water bottle and wiped my sweat as one of the stylists came over to quickly touch up my make up. I usually sweated quite a lot when it came to dancing to Fire because damn, was the choreography difficult but never this much.

Click.

Huh?

Click. Click. Click.

It wouldn't stop. This clicking was a constant, sound that just wouldn't give up and I could tell it wasn't physical. It sounded like the crack of bones, that spine tingling snap that makes you press your teeth together because of how harsh it is. And it keeps replaying in my mind.

I decided to drink my water to help with my hammering headache as I blink furiously, my sight now affected. Some of the colours around me kept switching, from monochrome and back. Was that really normal? It had only happened once before when I overworked myself.

The stylist that was fixing my make up paused and asked if I was okay but her voice wasn't clear. She sounded like my ears were full of some kind of liquid. The pain that was rushing through my body was absolute agony. It twisted the core of my body, pulling, striking, burning my everything. It felt like... fire.

It happened so suddenly. My heart began to race as my chest tightened; it felt as if the center of my head-- right behind my nasal cavity-- was being pulled. A rush of sound roared through me as my knees buckled, and as black clouds pressed their way into my vision.

一

The stark smell of bleach was overwhelming. I scrunched my eyes at the bright light that was sipping through my closed eyelids. I felt powerless and heavy. I could not move my hand, my head or my body.

I slowly started blinking, desperately trying to open my eyes and see what's around me. Where am I? As the blinding light slowly subsided I could take a look around my surroundings. I was at the hospital.

The room was pristine clean and gloomy. Typical hospital bed, IV and monitors beeping. The walls were a sickly... grey colour and the linens were greyish. The place looked nothing like a room where a patient should be motivated to get better. If anything the murky room was making me even more nauseous.

I could not remember how I got here but I knew for sure that I wanted out as soon as possible. Preferably right now. I pulled on the IV line and felt sharp pain. Seems that unplucking the IV is only eyes in the movies.

A doctor entered, different shades of monochrome adorning him. Our manager-- Bangtan's manager-- entered along with him also coloured in the grey and black hues.

My Monochrome is back?

Wait that mea-

My breathing quickens as I realise what Manager-nim is about to say. Eyes widened, hands sweaty and tears gathering.

❝ Mija is dead. ❞

fin.