"She's someone I've been in love with since I was 22..."
His voice continued to play in my mind. I couldn't believe he was on national TV claiming to have loved a woman for years and not just any woman, she was someone I once called a friend, someone I trusted.
"Come on Zara were leaving" I told my daughter grabbing our bags. I cautiously opened the door to my dressing room in attempt to not be seen.
"Hey" I smiled at a young girl around 19 who was working backstage. "Me?" She asked stunned that I spoke to her. "Yeah" I giggled. "Can you check if my cars here already please?"
"Sure... Hello beautiful" she waved at Zara. "I'll be right back" she said turning her attention back to me.
"What's your name?
"Tamar" I nodded. "Thank you Tamar-"
"CONGRATULATIONS!" "YASS BITCH!!" "CHEERS TO THE BADDEST BITCH" I looked down the hall towards to loud sounds of cheering and singing.
As I continued to inspect the situation I caught a glimpse of him holding her waist as she entered her dressing room with a huge smile on her face.
"DADDY!!" Zara said running off towards them before I could stop her. "Don't" I tried chasing after her but it was too late she was already tugging at his leg. "Fuck" I mumbled to myself. I was trying to leave without anyone noticing.
"Hey baby girl. I was just about to come see you" he lied. I knew he was lying he had no plans of coming to see her. He was probably trying to avoid me just as bad as I wanted to avoid him.
"You leaving?" He asked picking her up and looking over at me. "What's taking you so long we want to take some pictures?!" Rihanna playfully yelled stepping away from her crowd of friends.
He quietly gestured towards me. "Oh Nicki I didn't see you there. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Congratulations with your thing" I whispered. "Thank you. OH MY GAHD. Is this Zara? She gotten so big and beautiful. Hey princess" she said dramatically reaching to tickle her.
"Yeah we were just leaving actually" "Oh okay. Well it was nice seeing you. Both of you."
"Baby girl I'm gonna walk them out" he told her and it made me cringe the fact he was calling her baby girl, when less than a month ago he was calling me that.
She nodded before turning back to her group of loud friends.
Once we left the crowd we walked in an awkward silence out of the building to my car. "Nic-" I held my hand up cutting him off. "You don't have to explain yourself to me" I said once we finally reached my car.
"Zar say bye to daddy" I told her while handing the bags to my driver to put away. "Noo" she whined. "Zara" I said in a warning tone.
"Noo mommy I wanna stay!" She argued. "5 4 3-" I began to count down but her only reaction was to hold onto him even tighter and bury her face in his neck and start crying.
"Aubrey" he nodded. "I got it" I threw my hands up and got in the car leaving him to deal with her.
He kneeled down and stood her on the ground so they were face to face. "You know I don't like seeing my princess cry. I promise I'll come see you one day this week and maybe if it's okay with mommy you can come back to Toronto with me so we can stay with grandma. Okay?" She nodded.
"Alright now be a good girl for mommy. I love you"
"Love you too" she replied. "Nic I'll call you" he told me once he had baby girl sat calmly in her seat. "Whatever" I replied.
•
I sat in silence as I downed what I think was my fifth shot. I couldn't stop replaying the moment in my mind.
"You're so stupid Nicki" I said out loud. "So fucking stupid."
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"Boohoo you're stupid we get it. Doesn't mean you can sit here drowning your sorrows with-" she paused to analyse the empty glass. "-Hennessy? Ciroc? What the fuck is this that you're drinking?"
"Go away Bia" I mumbled. "Go away Bia" she mocked grabbing my face roughly.
"Get your shit together Nicki!"
"I can't believe he did this to me B"
"Well I hate to sound mean but what did you expect. He sat around for literally years waiting for you and all you did was reject him. Even when you found out you were pregnant did you remember what you told him?" I stayed silent looking down as guilt washed over me.
"You told him that it didn't change shit and how you weren't ready for a relationship then two months later you started fucking your bodyguard whilst carrying that mans baby!" She said coldly.
"Look Nic you're my best friend and I get that your hurting but Karma's a bitch."
"She was my friend B"
She sighed grabbing my hand. "Ain't no friends in the game Nicki"
"Besides you never told her Drake was Zara's father she thought y'all were just friends." She shrugged.
"Yeah but she know now and she still doesn't care... He said he was in love with her since he was 22."
"What do you want? sympathy? Because you're not getting it from me. The only person and I mean ONLY person I care about right now is my god daughter."
"Whether you like it or not she loves her father more than anything in this world. But because your here being a petty bitch she hasn't seen or spoken to him in weeks" she continued shaking her head at me.
"I'm sorry" I cried biting the corners of my lips.
"Yeah I am too. I found this in your bathroom....Is there anything you want to tell me?..."
