Dancing With Keenan

Chapter Twelve - Darkness

Neither of us spoke again until the door to my apartment closed behind us. Meghan dropped onto the sofa and shot me that defiant glare of hers - the one that told me she was convinced she was right and nothing I could say would change that.

Meghan's arrogance was her greatest flaw. It was so ingrained in her personality that I didn't think she knew how to be anything else. It was just who she was. Once she got into a fight about something, she wouldn't back down, even if it became painfully obvious that she was losing. Instead of accepting the loss, she would use whatever she could to win, even to the detriment of those around her.

"You need to grow up, Meghan," I admonished, taking a seat at the bar.

She rolled her eyes at me. "I am 'grown-up,'" she replied, making air quotes with her fingers.

"Yes, because slapping people for no reason is so grown up. Newsflash, Meghan, age has nothing to do with whether you're grown or not - it's about maturity, something you don't have."

Her hands fisted at her sides. "First of all, Keenan deserved it, and you know it. Second, who the hell are you to call anyone immature? You've been running away from your past for how long now? Until you face what happened to Kalya, don't talk to me about maturity!"

I recoiled. I felt the pain slice through my heart and soul deeper than any blade ever could. Tears pricked at my eyes.

I tried to take a deep breath but found it impossible. A lump had closed my throat, and the pull towards the darkness tugged at my mind.

It would be so easy to let myself go, to let the dark empty take over as it had so many times before. I'd feel better if I did, right?

No.

I would only prove Meghan's point if I let that happen.

I forced air into my lungs.

Meghan arched a brow at me.

I stood from the bar and backed up towards the door, not thinking of the implications.

"Don't you dare bring her up," I growled.

She shrugged, inspecting the red polish on her fingernails. "Fine. Keep on running away. Look at you. You're ready to run off and go God knows where, just to get away from this conversation. Maybe you're the one who needs to grow up!"

My heart pounded in my chest. It was hard to talk. My throat felt swollen shut, and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. It was hard to breathe. I wanted to gasp for air but forced myself to breathe normally.

The words swirled around my mind. There were so many things that I wanted to say, but I couldn't vocalize them.

I finally growled out the only sentiment strong enough for the turmoil I felt. "Fuck you."

Meghan smirked. "Did I hit a nerve?"

A spark of anger grew, chasing away the panic that had silenced my voice.

"Yes, you did," I spit out, "You want to talk about running away? Okay, you changed the subject because you know you were wrong and don't want to admit it."

Meghan laughed and ran a hand through her hair. "That's what you think? You're so stupid, Lilah. He doesn't care about you! Get that through your thick skull! Saving his stupid little band won't make him love you."

"It may be a 'stupid little band' to you, but that band is my job right now, Meghan."

She scoffed. "It's just a band, Lilah. Stop reading so much into it. You know you have plenty of money for college without this band."