Janes povs
Its been almost a week, a week since I finally killed Red john, Im in Brazil pure and peaceful, my life is finally happy, no more nightmares or guiltiness, I had my revenge and now after all this years I can finally sleep at night, except, except that every time that I close my eyes I see her, I see her beautiful smile smiling at me, her curls bouncing when she walks away annoyed, her tiny hands grabbing the gun in order to protect me.
Every night he sits besides me asking for an apple, she is a princess, my angry little princess, the princess I left behind. But the worst of all are those emerald eyes, they are the last image I have form her, those shiny emerald eyes begging for me to stay, begging to help me, begging for me to move on.
When I finally get to sleep I have 2 dreams, one its me in that scene, in front of those eyes, kissing her instead of running away, kissing a thank you kiss, a goodbye kiss, a kiss for all the time that I've loved her but I wasn't able to tell her. In this dream she replies the kiss, sweet, tender but with passion giving a flavor of sweet coffee that stays with me the whole day after I finally wake up, killing my heart every time I swallow.
The other dream is more a nightmare , I dream of her crying in her bed, lost, without job, without her team, without her family, without a friend to hold her hand. I try to approach to her but I cant, theres something holding me back, it feels so real I wake up crying and picking up my phone, when im just about to dial her, to tell her Im still there, that she is the best thing it ever happened to me I turn back, knowing that if I call her I will hurt her more.
I have regretted every singe day, hour, minute of this week, I should have said goodbye in a proper way but it was to risky, for both of us, I didnt want to hurt her more, more than what I knew I will hurt her.
But she deserved it, she deserved a proper goodbye, after all she was the best guardian angel someone could have, the kind of angel that will cheer you up when you are sad, that will stay with you even when you don't want her to, that no matter how many times you hurt her she will be willing to help you with a whole on her heart and a smile on her face.
The kind of angel that will never leave your heart.
I miss her, every time I think of her a tear appears in my eye, I miss my Lisbon, my little Teresa, my little princess, my saviour, my guardian angel. But I had to leave, I couldn't stay with her, I didn't deserve her, no angel deserves a killer.
I had to leave the light if my life behind..
I knew I will miss her and no matter how many times she denied it I knew she will miss me too, before I left I left her a gift that if I'm right, she will be receiving it today, a gift that will show her how much she means to me, how much I love her.
Lisbon's pov.
Im waking up, once again I couldn't sleep, I dreamed about me and Jane kissing in the park, the last time we saw each other properly, the time i didn't spent right saying goodbye, I knew he was leaving, but I didn't want to accept it. I wake up crying, feeling lonely, like if a part of me was gone, forever. My happy side had left and with that had left my consultant and best friend, the only boy that stole my heart and soul with just a grin had left me alone.
I thought we had a chance, a chance to be together, I was wrong and everybody was right, it was all about red john, he never loved me as I love him, but he is happy now, and his dream came true, I cant help but smile.
I shower, feeling the warm of water, I lost my own warm when I received that voicemail, the voicemail that said everything was over, not only red john, but my heart.
Trying to stop my feelings, I hurry up, dress myself and walk towards the parking lot when I see it, the citroen covered with a red ribbon.
Tears are down my face, I used to hate that car, 7 days ago I was afraid of him but now its my saviour, is the only thing I've got to hold onto. I take the keys from the ribbon, open the car and sit on the drivers seat.
Its stills smells like him, mint tea, I imagine him sitting on the car, annoying and mocking at me, I start to cry, I cant stand this.
I place my head on the steering wheel and hug it, I cry, tightiing myself to the only thing I have from jane appart from memories, when behind it I feel a little paper.
I take it out sweetly, an envelope.
I delicately open it.
"Dont cry my Lisbon, im still with you, everything is gonna get better, I promisse, and I also promisse we will see each other one day, this is as hard for me as it is for you..... now, I want you to raise your head and be the strong Lisbon I'be always known, the Lisbon that helped me through life, please Teresa dont ever let someone, not even me, bring you down, not because of you, because there are people that need strong angels in their lifes to take them away from missery, you helped me so smile my dear, smile because we made it.
I hope you take care of her( the car) .. You are the only person i trust as much as me to take care of her.
And don't forget to cheer up because its better to be happy than to be sad.
God luck Teresa, I love you"
