Bad Intentions || MGK FF [ON HOLD]

Twenty

Friday. 5:45PM.

I scrolled through my list of songs on my iPad, bored, trying to figure out which song I wanted to record. A million things were running through my mind and I desperately needed to distract myself. My index finger touched the screen, clicking on, Champagne. I reread through the lyrics, trying to go back to the emotional state I was in when I had written it a couple months back.

I sighed, locking the iPad, staring off into space. Tomorrow, Lauren and I would be leaving for California. Although I was excited about the new opportunities, I couldn't help but think my whole life was going to change dramatically.

Lauren was finishing packing her things at the hotel. I told her to take a similar initiative as myself with packing, but she neglected to do so. So that left me, by myself, in the studio. I tried texting Kells a few times today, even inviting him to the studio, but he hadn't responded. I had a strong feeling he was ignoring me, or at least avoiding me. I couldn't blame him exactly. The way I handled everything yesterday wasn't all that great, but I couldn't go back and change it either. I hadn't heard from him since he left the hotel.

He was a big boy. He'd be okay. Or so I wanted to think.

It wasn't like we were in love. We enjoyed each other's company for awhile and that's it. But the thought of not seeing Kells everyday, or not talking to him everyday, made me extremely anxious and somewhat sad. I had no idea what was going on with me.

I sighed, bringing the iPad back to life. I had already produced a sick beat to go with the song, so I got the computer ready to record. Once set, I headed into the booth with my iPad. I placed the headphones over my ears, taking a deep breath. I could hear the beat playing; I waited for my cue and began to sing.

"Late nights, waiting. Empty, fading. I want you again, I want to again." I closed my eyes, allowing myself to really get in my zone. "I'm far from sober. Won't hold me over. I can pretend, I can pretend... if I get this just right, I could lay here all night. Is it too much? One cup; tryna fill up the spaces you left in me."

"I got all these brand new addictions I'm bound to, I'm bound to. Anything that stops me from thinking about you - about you," I beat drops then, starting the chorus. "I've got champagne for the pain, black out all the memories. Runnin' through my veins, I don't really wanna feel anything. Trying to escape - I'm my only enemy. Drinks up, keep 'em laced. I don't really wanna feel anything." I sang the chorus once more before I started the second verse.

"Touch me and I'm back to the first time - chasing your high, tracing the lines. You left me stranded, broken, abandoned. Live for the high, I live for your fight. If I get this just right, I could lay here all night. Is it too late? I'm so afraid. This poison - I need a drink to spite you. Will you ravage me?"

I opened my eyes then; as clear as day, I saw his reflection from the opposite side of the window.  He was watching me carefully, as if he was studying my every move.

"I got all these brand new addictions I'm bound to, I'm bound to. Anything that stops me from thinking about you, about you..." Although the song wasn't finished, I took off the headphones, placing them on the stool. He clicked a few things on the computer for me as I walked out of the booth. I leaned against the door as I closed it behind me.

"Looks like you got my messages," I said, cocking my head to the side, looking at him. He was dressed in a black tank top, khaki pants and his all black Converse. His hair was disheveled and messy, but as he ran his hand through his blonde hair, he shifted it to one side, out of his eyes. "Weird since I haven't heard from you since yesterday."

He leaned against the sound table, folding his arms across his chest. His colorful skin danced along with his movements which distracted me just for a split second. He sighed. "I had some shit I had to take care of," he answered simply. "Was that the whole song?" he asked, changing the subject.