Austin had two sides.
There was the sweet side that she fell in love with, the side that would protect and care for her, no matter what.
And then the other side. The angry, hurt, broken side that, in all honest, was kind of frightening. It wasn't exactly a bipolar thing, because it wasn't an instant switch. It was a slow thing, he'd randomly transform. He'd be holding her, whispering his sweet words into her ear, kissing her neck, and then something would happen. Something would snap.
Ally didn't have a clue as to what triggered it, either. He was never nasty towards her, but sometimes the most casual of things would be brought up, and he'd visibly stiffen. He always had to leave for a moment, because he knew that if he wasn't careful, something would take over. And he couldn't risk that when Ally was around. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting Ally.
When he was with her and something went wrong inside, he always seemed half in control. He never completely went to the other side, there was just always the chance. She feared that chance more than anything. But she hoped he'd never go that far.
At least not while she was there. She had a haunting suspicion that when she wasn't around, he did break all the way. She could tell by the way he looked after he'd come back, there was a shattered look in his eyes that broke her heart.
There were nervous looks cast up at him. Dubious glances directed at her, as if no one could ever imagine loving him. People would even come up to her and say things. Warnings, that he wouldn't be able to hold back for her much longer. They said to run while she had the chance, that he couldn't restrain himself forever.
Austin Moon is dangerous. Terror waiting to happen. One day he'll go horribly wrong, and you'll regret having anything to do with him.
She didn't doubt any of it, except she knew she'd regret nothing. She loved him, after all. However the everlasting fear remained, fear of the fateful day when all hell would seemingly break loose for him. She didn't let the fear drive her crazy, though. She waited patiently.
They'd decided to go to a party. Ally was hesitant to go, so many things could go wrong at places like this. Surprisingly though, two hours in and no major problems.
Too late, she realized, too late to think that. She stopped talking to a friend and gaped in horror as Austin grabbed a man by his shirt, and shoved him at a wall. Ally hastily set down her drink and rushed over to him.
"Austin!" she screeched. He seemed to come back a little. His breathing was heavy.
"He was...insulting...you."
"That's no reason to- it's not worth it, Austin!" He turned on her, his eyes glinting with rage.
So soon, so predictable, it seemed almost surreal. She'd known taking him here was a bad idea. But he'd pleaded...
"He was insulting you, Ally! I had to do something!"
"Not that!" People were beginning to stare. She gripped his arm tightly, and pulled him into another more private room.
"Austin. Look at me. You need to calm yourself down. This isn't like you."
"Don't tell me what to do! This is perfectly like me!" he roared, and Ally took a step back.
"Austin. Please. Not here. Not now. Just-" She sucked in a breath as his hand struck her cheek.tears stung the corners of her eyes, but she ignored those. She turns her full attention to Austin, who was still fuming. "Austin, please. For me," she said as soothingly as she could muster in the moment.
"I said," he cornered her against the wall, "don't tell me what to do."
"Okay, I won't. I just want to talk to you, okay?" she asked tentatively, scared to provoke him any further. He didn't respond verbally, but took a step back, giving her space to move. "That's better. Why did you hurt that man, Austin?" Her voice was gentle. He remembered how much he loved her.
Something changed in his eyes.
"Did I hurt you, Ally? Did I hurt you too?" His voice was far softer than it had been. She shook her head slowly, unsure how to react to the whole scenario. He reached out his hand to lightly touch her face. She winced in pain as he moved over her left cheek. "I did." Tears began to stream down his face. "Why would I do that to you? Why'd I do any of it? I just...I don't know anymore. I don't know who I am."
