The Story That Has Everything (A Parody) - COMPLETED

Here be a mysterious title

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Time for another round of 'spot the cliché'! How many can you find this time?


Chapter 3

I woke up to the sound of something beeping. Bright white light met my eyes as I stared up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

“Toda?” I heard a strange, male voice say. I craned my neck to the left and saw a really hot guy lying in the hospital bed next to me. He must be the hottest guy I have ever seen in my whole life!

“Where am I?” I asked him confused.

“You’re in a hospital. I’m calling the nurse,” hot guy said and pressed a button. He was covered in bandages. Something horrible must have happened to him. That’s when I noticed that my right arm was in a cast and that my legs hurt. A lot.

“Toda, you’re awake,” someone else standing by the door said with relief. I looked at that someone – and oh my god, he was the hottest guy I have ever seen! “Thank god. I would have never forgiven myself if something serious had had happened to you.”

“Stay away from her,” my next bed neighbor growled.

“I’m her best friend. I’m not staying away from her,” strange guy said and rushed to my side, holding my hand. His hand was surprisingly cold. I stared into his eyes – one eye was blue, one eye was green. “Toda? Say something,” he urged me.

“I’m sorry, but… who are you?” I asked confused.

In that exact moment, a doctor stepped into the room. “Ah, she’s finally awake. How’s our patient?”

“She doesn’t remember me,” hand-holding guy told the doctor.

“Well, that’s not unusual for someone who has been in a coma for the last three days. She has amnesia,” the doctor said cheerfully. “Toda, do you remember what happened?”

Coma? Amnesia? What were they talking about?

“Ah, you don’t. Not to worry,” the doctor continued. “Thanks to Howard,” he pointed at the guy in the bed right next to mine, “your injuries are not as bad as they could have been. Congrats. You survived the horrible bomb attack at your high school!”

Bomb attack?

“When can she get out of here? And will her memory come back?” The guy whose name is Howared asked the doc with some strange urgency in his voice.

“Well, she’s been in a coma for the last three days as you know since you shared the room with her even though your injuries are minor compared to hers. But since there was no room left at the ICU, we had no other choice than putting you two in a room together despite the fact that there are at least six hundred rooms at this hospital. And she’s just woken up and apparently suffers from amnesia which I was able to diagnose in a split second without even looking at her. So, of course she’s free to go home now! I’ll call her mom.”

“No need, I’m already here,” a woman – my mom ? – who had stepped into the room during the doc’s little speech said. “Oh my baby, I was so worried about you!”

“She has amnesia,” hand-holding guy told Toda-hugging woman.

“Oh, Marrano, that’s horrible! But don’t worry, she’ll remember you. You guys are best friends,” she reassured him. Then she looked at me. “Sweetie, do you remember me?”

I took a good long look at her. “You look familiar,” I let her know hesitantly.

“Because I’m family,” the woman smiled at me. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

It took me two days to remember most of the things I had known before. As soon as I was back home, I remembered our house, my mom, that my father died right after I was born, and many other things. I didn’t remember the bomb attack. Or Marrano, that Howard guy and another guy named Salvatore who came to visit me back at my house and claimed to be my boyfriend. The doctor said I just had to give it time. Till then, I should stay away from all of the three guys. Pity, really. They were really hot! Maybe their hotness had fried my brain wires and that’s why I couldn’t remember a single thing about them.

I was allowed to go back to school on Monday. So in the morning I got my books out of the locker, closed it and hurried down the hallway to get to my homeroom without really looking where I was going. And that’s how I managed to run into a wall.

A breathing, shirt-wearing wall. I looked up into the bright green eyes of a guy with dark hair and really high cheekbones. He was gorgeous. He was beautiful.

He was the hottest guy I have ever seen!

“Watch where you’re going, doll,” he snarled at me.

“Doll?” I frowned at him and studied him. He looked somewhat familiar. “Hey, do I know you?”

Quite possible, seeing that I was currently suffering from amnesia and had forgotten about the other hot guys in my previous life. Man, what do they feed teenage boys around here? Hotness cereal?

Like a deer in the headlights, the guy stared at me. Then he blinked, his eyes filled with anger. “You don’t know me, doll. Leave me alone!” And with that, he knocked down my books.

I hated that guy. Hated him! And I would hate him for always and forever! As it turned out, Nemico – that was his name, by the way – was a new student. Every other girl was drooling over him. But not me. No. The feeling seemed to be mutual, thankfully. But what do you know: we got partnered up for this stupid social studies project by our teacher Mr. Somename. We had to pretend to be a married couple for the next couple of weeks, along with all the stuff that goes with it – drawing up a budget, investing money, imaginary jobs and worst of all, a baby we had to take care of. It was some kind of robot that started crying and such. Horrible. Why me? Why Nemico? It was a nightmare come true.

I still couldn’t remember a single thing about the bomb attack or Howard, Marrano and Salvatore. Maybe I never would. But if those guys had been my friends before, I quickly found a new friend: Nemica. Nemico’s twin sister. She was his total opposite and we did practically everything together! As it turned out, they both were new students at tour school, so I didn’t know Nemico from my life before the bomb attack. Nemica found it hilarious that I was the only girl who didn’t worship the ground her jerk brother was walking on. She was the prettiest girl I have ever seen. Maybe she ate the same cereal as the boys. I would have to ask her about it some time. I didn’t even know why she would want to be my friend, seeing that I was just an ordinary, ugly, nerdy girl. But I was very grateful that she was my best friend.

She didn’t seem to like Howard, Marrano and Salvatore for some reason, and as long as she was by my side, they didn’t dare approach me. Even though they tried calling me several times, till I lost my phone at Nemica’s house one day. I’m so clumsy sometimes. Dear, dear Nemica gave me a new phone, just like that. She was such a good friend! The best! She even said that I was pretty. Although I knew it was a big, fat lie, it was such a nice thing to say.

Bella Maxima, the blond head cheerleader and obviously the girlfriend of Marrano, was always giving me a hard time for some reason unknown to me. Nemica noticed that and told me that Bellmax was jealous of me.

Yeah, right. Bellmax, Jealous? Of me? No way!

Anyway, Nemica took me shopping one day at the mall. She said it was time for a makeover. She bought me clothes worth over 20,000 dollars. Just like that. Her parents are rich, so they don’t really care. Nemica said that I should not worry about it; she would simply not buy a new car this month like she usually did. She also took me to a beauty salon, where I got my legs and eyebrows waxed (ouch!), a mani-pedi, and a very stylish haircut. The whole image was perfected by some make-up and wearing contacts instead of my thick glasses.

I couldn’t believe the reflection I was seeing in the mirror. Was that really me? I was stunning! And almost even more beautiful than Nemica! No, it couldn’t be.

The next day in school, everyone was staring at me. Suddenly all the boys wanted to talk to me. Even the jocks! Bellmax was furious when she heard that Jake, the most popular guy in school, asked me out on a date. Nemica had worked her magic. I was no longer the nerd – I was the most popular girl in school! What a difference a day and outfit makes.