The Journey of a Recovering Agender Person

On Starting School

So today was my first day of school. And I have to say that today felt like no other school day to me that I've ever experienced.

It felt weird going back to a place I've experienced so much sadness and depression and heartbreak and just horribleness as a completely changed person. I'm so much different than last year.

I'm a senior now. My grade is the top of the school, and there's no one else there that I knew before. My classes are really quite mixed, with a lot of juniors and I honestly feel very out of place in some of them.

It's really quite odd and definitely sad. I'm feeling so much more isolated from everyone in the school. Seemingly ten times the amount of people annoyed me, and yet I didn't feel at all alone or upset. I feel almost happy that change has finally fallen upon me.

The summer was such a drag. Just work work work, and one week of vacation that was actually hell. I'm glad to get rid of it, and really happy to start this school year.

I have all the motivation to start this year off strong and do all of my work. I want to finish out high school strong, and with the classes I'm taking I think my workload will be manageable compared to last year. I honestly think I can do better for myself this year.

And I want to do better. I want to focus on my schoolwork and work and not focus on anything else. I'm going to work my ass off this year, but not so much so that I want to die again.

I'm going to make this year different, and I'm glad a lot of people could see it.

My favorite teacher from last year said I look different. And I know it's a good different.

And I do feel different. I feel more confident in myself and less worried about what other people think. I am ready to brush off the dust and hurt and everything of last year and make my senior year shine bright.

I have support, I have love, and that's all that matters. I have my determination and motivation, and that's inspiring me. I am going to get through this year, healthy and happy. No matter what it takes.

For once, I am very very happy that things are different.

I'll talk to you all soon,

Mykie out.