Whenever You're There

A past that can't be forgotten *Contains Violence*

Brian's POV

Violet just called me.

She's crazy.

When I think back of how my father used to treat me, I almost faint...

I'm glad he's in prison, but my heart has already turned as black as a nightsky without it's moon and stars.

I hate Violet.

Or rather, I'm jealous.

She has this pretty little perfect life. Everyone loves her, adores her. Compared to her... Ha! I'm not even as much as nothing!

Her face is as the face of an angel, her skin unharmed and beautiful, does she really want to throw away all those things I have always yearned for?

I look at myself and the scars on my body.

Most are made by my dad. No, he's not my dad... He's...! He's... Every word I could use to define him would make him sound better than he is.

I hate my dad.

This time I'm not saying it's jealousy. No. I want to kill him, but I'm too scared, whenever I look at his face I turn into a weak little lamb and even though I think of running, I stay and obey his every word without even trying to get away.

I remember the first time I talked to someone about it.

It was a man of my dad's age, I was around 9 years old. He was my neighbour and turned out to be a creepy pedophile. He had said: "You probably don't run, because you actually like it." He laughed at me and I ran away, my eyes filled with tears.

I believed him. Not because I thought he was right, but because at the time it was hard to think straight. Nobody seemed like a normal person to me.

Except my mum. She was the most loving, tolerating mum I have ever known.

But she had this weird thought in her mind. She thought that my dad would change, that she could make him change.

But she never could and I wish she had seen that earlier.

I wish she had never bothered to even talk to my dad, I wish she had never met him, I wish she had married a decent guy, had a happy life.

Because I love her.

And there was one time I could finally run away from my dad.

It was nighttime and my dad had asked me to come to his room at around 8 o' clock. I did and opened the door. He didn't want me to knock, he hated it for some reason.

I saw him binding my mum to the bed and sitting painfully on my mum while doing so.

He noticed me and had this wicked smile on his face, like he normally had when he was going to do something.

"Close the door, sit on that chair over there and look," he said calmly.

I did what he said and asked myself what he would do this time and started to feel anxious.

He pushed my mum onto the bed and started taking off all of her clothes.

"Darling, Brian is here. Can't you do this without him being here?" My mum asked carefully.

He punched her right in the face. And again.

"How dare you, Brian is mine! So I can do with him whatever the f*** I want!" he yelled.

My mum started crying, "No!" she said.

I was shocked. That was the first time I had seen my mum cry, because she never did. Even when my dad had put his hands around her neck, she had always smiled. Why did she cry only now?

I didn't like it. It was the first time ever that I was not scared to run.

I saw my mum get hit and decided to get the phone and call the police, which was in a room my mum and I didn't have the keys for, but I knew where they were.

I walked toward my dad and reached for the pocket in his pants. It was risky, I know, but I did it.

I ran out of the room up the stairs and heard my dad yell some things.

He knew I had stolen the key to this room.

I quickly put the key in the door and opened the door. I grabbed the phone and called the police as fast as I could, "Help!" I screamed, "My dad..." I heard him coming upstairs "he wants to kill us!" I wanted to say that he made my mum cry, but they might have thought that it was just a fight between parents.

My dad came near me and punched me in my stomach. He reached for a knife which was on the desk and stabbed me.

I let out a horrible sound and everything went black.

I don't exactly know what happened after because apparently I had fainted.

I woke up in a hospital bed and saw my mum sitting next to me on a chair. She cried and said, "I'm sorry!"

I told her that she wasn't the one who should apologise and asked her what happened.

"They're going to put him in prison," she said.

My eyes went wide and tears crawled down my face, I was so happy...

But I still have nightmares about my dad at least every two to three days, but I'm happy he's gone...

Those nightmares remind me of something... I have a past that can't be forgotten.