Whenever You're There

maybe something will change

It's so weird. Wanting to feel sad. Is it for attention?

"Mum?" I look at my mum, she looks back at me.

"Yeah sweetie?" Is what she says while smiling at me.

"Nothing. I just wanted to say mum." I look at her with a smile, but feel empty inside. As if something is missing. I don't know what. My life is perfect... I have a lovely family. We all get along. I love my mum, my dad and my little sister all equally. We almost never fight. I see my parents a lot and they are the nicest people on earth. My grades are perfect, I am very popular at school and have lots of friends and I even have a very handsome boyfriend.

Today is Monday. I have to go to school, I don't mind going to school, it's fun... At least it should be.

I pick up my bag from the floor and open the front door and, as I thought, my wonderful boyfriend is already there, standing in front of his car, waiting for me.

When he sees me he walks towards me and kisses my forehead, "Hi sweetie, how are you doing?"

I smile, "Good. You?"

He smiles. "Whenever you're here, I'm always good."

When we Arrive at school we part ways. I go to my friends, mostly girls, and he to his, all boys. I'm okay with that.

"Hey, Violet! Check this out! My dad bought me this new watch for my birthday! I'm so happy! It's the most expensive thing I've ever had!"

I smile and cover my watch, the exact same one, "It's so beautiful! I'm so happy for you!"

All the girls swarm around us, "so cool! I bet no one else has that one yet! Right Violet?"

Everyone's stares are making me feel awkward, "Err... Yeah."

We go to our classroom. The only person already there is Brian. He's always early... And sleeping. He's not very popular and most girls find him disgusting, I don't even know why, but whatever.

I go sit next to Brian, because maybe something will change? Haha, who am I kidding?

But I really want something to change! Maybe I should just go sleep, just like Brian. I let my head fall onto my desk and slowly fall asleep.

I feel something poke my head and open my eyes.

"You were sleeping all this time, it surprises me you didn't get caught."

It's strange. It's the first time I've looked someone in the eyes and felt so... Like I... Want more?

I smile. "Well, I'm just special."

He chuckles, "cocky much?" He puts his hand on his desk which makes me able to see his whole arm.

"Yep. At least... Right now." I notice loads of scars as I scan his arm.

"You interested???"

I look at him, not knowing what he means. "What?"

"You know what I mean. You were looking at this." He points at the scars on his arm. "Most girls look at it as if I'm disgusting."

"Why?" To be honest it doesn't really surprise me at all.

"It's not like I would care enough to know." He tucks some of my hair aside and starts whispering in my ear, "But I bet you wanna try it too."

My heart starts beating faster and my belly tightens. "I... What? I'm not the type of person to do something like that. I don't have a reason to..."

I watch him as he puts his stuff in his bag, "where are you... Going?" I ask.

Before he starts walking away he looks at me and smiles, "If you happen to change your mind, feel free to come to me for help."

I squeak, "he-help? For what?"

He ignores me and the teacher gets mad, "Brian! Get back to your seat!"

He turns around to look at her, grins and then turns around again, walking off to Brian knows where.