Frerard - Free Now (Null Trilogy Part 2)

Part 10

Gerard was broken.

It killed me to see him like this. Now I knew how it must have felt when I was busy weeping over my father.

Most of my time was spent making sure he ate and drank, and I could barely get a word - or a sign - out of him.

As time went on, I grew frustrated and selfish. As heartless as it seemed, Gerard moping around wasn't helping me. Not only was ignoring the fact it was our baby he'd lost, not just his own, I was also love and sex deprived. I needed someone to help me as much as he did. Not to mention my problems piled up, whereas he only had one - even if it was a big one.

I could deal with it at first. But as the months piled up, I grew more aggravated. He wouldn't touch his food or say one word to Mikey or Bob when they came to try and comfort him, whereas before he would at least eat and talk.

The only person who was bothered about me was Bob. Mikey ignored Bob and I almost in favour of Gerard, like the brothers were in sync.

It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I was sat trying to get Gerard to eat, once again, and he refused, once again. Each time I encouraged him he just gave me a blank expression. Seething with built up rage, I exploded.

"That's it, Gerard! I've had enough!" I signed aggressively, my face red and hot. "All you do is sit here and ignore my love! I know I had a couple of months like this, but Jesus fucking Christ I wasn't as bad as you! You only helped me because you had fuck all to deal with at the time! It's not just you who's lost your baby, we lost our baby! Yet I still sit here every day force feeding you despite having my own fucking depression and other problems to deal with!" I narrowed my eyes and glared. "I can't take it anymore! We need some time apart."

Gerard didn't bother to stop me. He just sat there as always and watched me pack and leave - because he knew I was right. My outburst was probably uncalled for, especially considering how fragile he actually was, but the points I made were completely valid and he knew it.

Right?

I packed enough things for a few days and stormed out, sobbing violently as I knocked on Bob and Mikey's door.

Bob answered, frowning. "Frankie? Come in. What happened?" he stepped out of the way to let me step in. Mikey came up beside him, frowning heavily.

"I shouted at Gerard," I motioned sloppily, sniffling and sobbing. "I just can't take it anymore. I try so hard and he just ignores me. I'm sick of it."

Mikey narrowed his eyes sharply, immediately protective. "Seriously, Frank? You know how broken he is after losing his baby."

I choked on a sob. So he really didn't give a shit. "Gerard lost our baby. My baby! It's granted that he'll be more upset because of him being the one who was carrying our baby, but that doesn't mean I'm not broken by it too!"

Mikey scowled and shook his head. "You're so selfish."

"Oh, I'm the selfish one?!" I signed aggressively, my hand movements sharp and clear. "I was his translator! I put forward the appeal and raised tons of money so he could finally hear despite being deaf myself! And I've been helping him to survive for these past few months and I've had nothing back!"

Mikey glared harshly. "He helped you when you were in a pathetic state a few months ago!"

"Yes, but when I realised how much I was hurting him, I forced myself to be happy! Gerard doesn't even bother signing a word to me! He didn't even protest when I left!"

Mikey shoved past me and ran out the door, obviously heading to see Gerard.

Bob sighed as I began wailing again. "You're not in the wrong here, Frank. You should have handled this whole situation better, but you're still right."

I whimpered. "I don't wanna hate Gee. I know it isn't his fault really, but it's killing me..." I signed sadly. "No love, no care, no sex...no nothing..."

Bob sighed again. "Mikey's been the same with me...we haven't had sex in months. I know sex isn't what it's all about, but still..."

I nodded. "I offered to try for another baby. I know that it wouldn't be the same, though I think it would make him feel a little better. But... he just ignored me. I didn't ignore him when I was upset about my Dad."

Bob kissed my head gently. "I understand, Frank. It's alright. You can stay for a few days. You and Gerard need some time apart. After that, we can sort things out. We can just cuddle, if you want."

I managed a small, grateful smile, my heart beating faster as I realised how much Bob cared about me. The only other times I ever got this feeling was...whenever Gerard kissed me or showed me how much he loved me. What was going on? "Thanks, Bob... you're the only one who gives a shit about me."

Bob just smiled and led me to his bedroom. I snuggled into his chest on the bed as he stroked through my hair and held me close against his body. We just lay there cuddling quietly, nothing spoken nor signed for a good twenty minutes.

Eventually, I looked up at him carefully. "Bob?"

"Yeah, Frankie?" Bob signed back.

That was when I shot forward, lost in passion and lust, my cheeks burning as I pressed my lips against his.