You're Driving Me Crazy

the present tense

so i've decided to write my notes up here from now on. it looks much better. so i took a very long break because i had no enthusiasm to write this story anymore and also i realized that the idea of this story didn't fit my beliefs about student-teacher relationships, doesn't matter if the student is 18, it still is statutory rape. so i'm gonna change the direction of this story a little bit. Don't worry, you're still gonna read the juicy parts of them being alone together but the idea is not the same as before... so i'm sorry for the long pause and i hope you enjoy this one. please leave votes and comments :)

  That day was just another normal day. Carol had stepped in the school just in time for the start of the principal's speech. Students had arrived and had found their seats next to their friends. Kids had to listen to Mr. Davis lecture them about drug and alcohol use. Frank Davis, a middle aged biology teacher, living with his cats. He had been assigned to teach in that high school god knows since when. Kids didn't like his presence, "he was stuck in the 70's" they said. He had strict behavior, but didn't have enough behavioral management skills and training to control the classroom. That's why kids liked to riot and boycott his sessions.

  The boys sitting in the back, had made fun of him the entire time. Carol had just sat there, watching how creative that young generation was even in making fun of their teachers. For once, she had let go of all the anger towards those students. She had let go of all the close minded opinions; she had thought, and sat there amazed by the creativeness of the younger generation.

  The students had rushed to their classes after the very long lecture, but not all of them. Those boys sitting in the back were absent from their classes for almost the half of the day. Carol and the rest had searched everywhere for those boys, for Carol to only find them in the supply closet drinking; which had left her feel a little guilty about earlier, but she had handled the situation calmly and hadn't reported them, but had assigned them to do community service and clean their own mess on Saturdays. Those boys had thanked her but she hadn't done that for them, she'd done that for herself. She could feel her breathing considering to be friends with her again, and she was thankful for that.

  Easy and calmly, she had decided to handle things. No aggressive thoughts or feelings. And everything seemed much better. Her husband was out of town and for once after a very long time she felt in control of her own life. People had told her things, had suggested her to leave him; but how could she? That man was everything she had. Will, the gym teacher had tried to fix her, to fix the situation; but couldn't realize he was doing more damage than good. She despised herself for loving that man, her husband, from the beginning, but you don't choose who you fall for.

  That day, had been the best after a long time, she had the full control over things, until Mr. Green had suffered a heart attack, collapsing in the middle of the teacher's lounge out of pain, feeling humiliated and in pain. The teachers had called 911 and had hoped that he would stay alive.

  Carol didn't like to see him like that but she had stayed in the hospital till late night. Will had driven her home, offering to stay, but she had refused. She had laid in her bed in her clothes, trying to match her breathing to the ups and downs of her body. She felt stupid for thinking she had the control earlier. She had realized that it was the second time that she had felt stupid and guilty in that day... what a shame, she really wanted for that day to be the best, she wanted from the bottom of her heart.

  She laid there thinking her day through for an hour. Then she got up to take a shower. The only action of the day without thinking too much. She didn't want to think that she was damaged. She didn't want to think she was the victim of a heinous crime; there were people starving and dying everyday after all. But something in her, made her feel like she was lifting a heavy bag and she couldn't find a place to just drop it off of her shoulders. She turned on the shower and the hot spray of water hit her stiff body. She shivered at first. She had to go back to the hospital, she thought, as she rubbed the skin of her neck. She was blaming herself for everything. Every little mistake, every little lie through her life and marriage. Her clouded thoughts had never left her head and the hot spray was supposed to be relaxing. When did she get so overwhelmed with life? She leaned her hands against the wall of the shower, bowing her head, and just let the water cascade down her body for a moment. She had to go to the hospital, not only because of Mr. Green, but for very selfish reasons as well. She hated the quiet in her house. Despite the feeling she had, that she had the power to do as she liked, she hated the quiet and alone. So she got into a pair of comfortable black sweatpants and an oversized red velvet t-shirt. She grabbed her keys and her phone. She then wore her zip up black hoodie and before exiting her house, she stood there by the door. What if she stayed home and went there the next morning? Crossed her mind. It had been like this, for as long as she could remember. Scared, anxious, stressed to do something, to go out. But scared of what? Anxious about what?