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This chapter contains
- racial slurs - self harming - abuse - can be triggering to some Anyways let's hop to it
"Look at the fat nigga coming down the hallway" I turned around and punched the person in the face "listen here you racist fuck it's 2016 and if you haven't gotten over black people being equal to white people then you need to go home or an all white school oh wait they don't have those now leave me the hell alone and I'm not fat it's just because I'm thick doesn't mean I haven't ever tried to work out to get rid of it so suck up whatever your feeling inside and keep it to yourself" I walked away with my head held high glaring at anyone who was giving me a dirty look.
I rushed home and looked around for my older brother he was inside with his friends of course he never notices me anymore ever since our mom left he kept me here but honestly he could have just left me out in the streets it's the same difference. "Y/n" he called out ,y name bust i rushed past him and locked my door I heard the front door open the close softly. "Y/n you okay I sent the boys away so we can talk" I walked into my bathroom contemplating life "y/n if you don't answer I'm gonna break down the door"
I made up my mind and I made a small cut where my other cuts are on my thigh Nate busted into the room but I had cleaned myself up already "what's wrong with you y/n I'm talking to you" I just looked down "THIS IS WHY MOM LEFT YOUR A SORRY EXCUSE OF A DAUGHTER NO WONDER WHY SHE LEFT TO HWT AWAY FROM YOU" a tear rolled down my cheek when he slammed the door
I looked up whispered to myself "why does everyone hate me" I hated myself and my skin I hated that I'm too big and everyone knows I am I hate this I hate myself. Going to bed without dinner I stare at the wall until my eyes get blurry. Waking up my eyes sting a little bit never the less I get up a take a shower and get dressed.
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Fixing the cap I have my head held high and I walk to my locker opening it and then closing it with a small jump "why uh I'm Shawn and I'm sorry about yesterday my brother can be a dick to people of uh color" he blushed and was so cute "it's fine Shawn don't worry he didn't affect me" lies "are you sure" I nodded "well I'll see you at lunch then cause me and you are going to hang out" I smiled on the outside of course it was fake but no one would ever know "okay great" this means I have to ear in front of him and his friends. "Great see ya then" he skipped away and I headed to class.
After some time the lunch bell rang and I got in there and sat down at my regular table when my only kinda friend came up to me "hey y/n" I smiled up at her "hey Hailey" she sat down with me "well I saw you talking to Shawn th-" "HAILEY COME SIT WITH US LEAVE THE FAT WHORE ALONE" half of the cafeteria got quiet I got up and being to walk out when Shawn called out to me "Y/N COME SIT AT OUR TABLE" I looked back and smiled before making my way to Shawn and his friends
"guys this is y/n, y/n this is Nate, Sammy, Taylor, jj and jack, oh the other two over there are swazz and tez" I waved before a girl came up to the table "why is y/n here" I looked at her giving her a glare "because it's a free country and Obama said that all kids must attend school" Shawn laughs before getting serious "y/n this is stassi sammys girlfriend" I put my hand out for her to shake which she does it surprises me. "Good comeback question why don't you use them on shawns idiot of a brother Aaron" I just shrug not really having a good answer before she does a move over motion making us move down until she just goes and sits on sammys lap.
"So we are going to be best friends and your gonna stand up for yourself" I just nod and pick at my food eating here and there. I have a thing where I'll put it to my mouth and get sauce on my lip or cheek and then make a gesture with my hand and put the food back down then smash it together no one ever notices. "Isn't your brother named like Kevin and his friends name is Derek they make music and there famous or something" I put my head down "yeah that's us" stassi squeals and I cover my ears "that's so cool were definitely hanging out" I just nod and shrug
After school I rush home trying not to get Cushitic by Aaron and Zach but I guess I wasn't moving fast enough cause right in front of my house they jumped me leaving me with a black eye a bruised rib and stomach and back also my lip is busted. I walk into my house with Kevin and Derek sitting there "hey y/n ho- WHAT THE FUCK" I put my head down and rush to my room.
