Wandering Thoughts:3AM(girlxgirl one shot stories)

Wandering Thoughts: Swimming in a Sea of Forgetfulness

The sound of playing piano enthralled my mind as her face etched into my blank mind.

A deep sigh. What have we done baby?

I let out bitter smile. You're like a moth to flames, your light attracted me and I flew to death.

You caused my asphyxiation, I drowned into your world of uncertainty and instead of helping me out, you dragged me down instead.

It was unhealthy, inhumane but you're an addicting heroine, that I can't seem to take out of my systems.

Oh, how I tried to get a remedy, but you're intoxicatingly getting me addicted even more.

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I stopped playing the said instrument and stood up, overlook the empty room next door.

It used to be your sanctuary, I would stay here and play and you would stay there doing office works in front of your laptop.

Your smell still lingers around the air, as if you never left in the first place.. As if you still exists in this world.

I shook my head and decided to go to the bedroom. I saw our messed up cabinet, and smiled at a distant memory.

"Yah. Stop messing it up." You scolded me yet again when I carelessly got a shirt in the middle of the pile.

"Tss." I fakely tsked in annoyance and you decided to fix the mess I made. And I hugged you from behind.

"Aaaah. So fluffy." I muttered, sniffing your scent like a drug and it calms me down somehow.

Looking at the full length mirror that used to always depict us together brings pain to my chest.

But somewhere around these walls, I know you're still staring at the back of my head.

Your memories would keep haunting me, taunting and making me cringe both in happiness and agony.

This is one hell of a predicament to be on.

Floods of flashes washed my emotions away. Now is not the time for me to whim like a baby over you again.

3 months is more than enough to weep. I retrieve my bath towel and went ahead to take a shower.

As soon as I felt the cold water dripping against my body, tears soon fell along with it.

And I said to never cry again to the fact that you're gone. But why did you leave me alone?

You made a promise to never leave me alone, to keep whatever friendship we had to remain intact.

But why didn't you trust me that I'd understand? I'd do my best to always understand for you.

I let out a heavy sigh and calmed my senses somehow, I closed my eyes. I could feel your body wrapped against mine.

I could feel both your skin and breath against mine. Our movements in sync with each other.

It was passionate, sensual and it felt so real.

Well, it did happen. I can feel you still watching over me, wherever I go.

Won't you ever let me go?

I finished the bath, feeling numb. I could still smell your rosy fragrance on the air and I remember you cooking dinner.

Of course, cooking has always been my Achilles' heel. You'd gladly take over the chores cause you said I am your baby.

And I definitely like being pampered by you.. If only things would always remain the same way.

I went to the kitchen to start making my dinner. It's been 3 months since I started eating alone but I still prepare two plates for us.

Can you blame me?

"I don't love you anymore. I guess I never truly did." She confessed.

Of course. I was never your choice. I'm just the one who can accept you no matter what.

"I understand." It's so hard to breathe. Maybe they were right. You were my life, my obsession and this shouldn't have started to begin with.

"You're free. Just go." I answered. I stood up to go to the kitchen to initially drink cold water.

But I saw a knife instead and thought of ending it all there. I aimed for my heart and I was more than ready to hurt myself.

But you held my grip. "Don't do anything stupid." She answered.

"Why the hell do you care and bother? Stop it, darn it. Stop making me feel special when I'm not." And I finally broke down in tears.

I feel so weak, I fell on my knees and cried like a fucking baby.

"Stop caring for me so much. Stop reviving me to life." I said bitterly, all the pain and finality of her words sink in.

Maybe she only stayed cause she knows I needed her. And that was selfish of me.

"Just let me die here instantly. Don't think about me anymore." I said as I retrieve the knife I was holding onto.

She tried to snatch it away from me but slipped and it hit her straight to ghe chest instead.

I was frozen cold for days.

She started poking my wet cheeks afterwards, I was gazing outside absentmindedly.

"Sit me up properly and leave. I loved your book baby. I'd always be your number 1 fan." She smiled at me as if nothing happened.

I guess my mind was in denial with the blood on my palms and on her face.

I sat her up on the couch and went to the shower.

Good thing, she reminded me about my book. Today is the launching day actually.

So I stood up and live normally for days with her always behind me, watching.

I don't know why she just can't hate me. And I can't hate her either.

I stopped my flashback and I stared at her cold body. Maybe I shouldn't have waited this long.

I retrieve the knife that was on her shoulders and without any further ado, struck myself with the knife and sat beside her and made no effort reviving my breathe.

I shouldn't have waited this long. On the next life, I hope I'm your choice by then.

And with that thought, everything went black.