Dead hearts Don't beat

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Authors note: hey guys bare with me this chapter as its a long one and a bit emotional. This is a very personal chapter to me and it was hard to write some of it. Thank you so much for all your amazing comments and votes, I love them all. Enjoy :)

Jake
Some how I made it through half the week with no one noticing me. I don't even think the teachers knew I was there, I just sat at the back of the class quietly doodling most of the time. The bell rang for lunch, I hated lunch time, the corridors were so congested and panicked. You could easily get swept in the wrong direction if you weren't careful. I now have several bruises on my arms where people have pushed passed me or their bags have swung in to me. I still wasn't use to this.

"Move out the way cunt" a larger lad said as he pushed past me with his friends.
"I wasn't even in your way stupid" I mumbled to myself, obviously it wasn't quiet enough. Everyone stopped and gasped as this lad, who was twice my size, stopped and turned towards me.
"What did you just call me!?" I was in trouble
"Do you know who I am punk" I received a heavy blow to the stomach.
"You're obviously someone with anger management issues" why the hell did I say that, I've just made it worse. I was bent over clutching my stomach trying to breath normally again, when I got struck again in the face. I fell to the ground as everyone started chanting "fight, fight, fight". His friends surrounded me and kicked the shit out of me while I was still crippled on the floor. I couldn't breathe, the air in my lungs were forced out before I could take another breath. Finally they stopped and the lad looked down at me, I couldn't make out his face, my vision had blurred.
"Learn your place, you little shit" he spat on me and left. At that moment so did everyone else. I laid on the ground battered, bruised and bloody. Welcome to York schools I said to myself.

I skipped the rest of my classes and hobbled home. It took way longer than it should have done. My whole body was aching twice as much by the time I'd got home.
"Why are you home so early?" Hello to you too Nicole.
"Look at you! You're a mess. I've told your dad he shouldn't waste his money on buying you new clothes because all you do is mess them up" I looked down at myself, I hadn't noticed how homeless I looked. But that's not the point how did she not notice my swollen face, or painful grunts I made as I walked by. I swear she has a filter on what she sees.

It took me 10 minutes to get to my room. 10 very painful minutes. My clothes were covered in dirt and blood, not to mention they were ripped. I really liked the shirt I was wearing, it was one Jake gave me for my 16th birthday. He'd made it himself, he was awesome at stuff like that. When we were kids we made up a band together, we were so bad but it was so much fun. He'd turned our old band logo into this super cool new one, it was a guitar with the neck looking like a sword, and two drum sticks crossing over it. The back ground was all black so the colours of the logo stood out more. It looks way better than I can describe it. Well it did anyway. I loved that shirt, it held so many good memories.

I made myself a bath and climbed in.
'If You just die now no one will miss you. Just go under the water and relax. Let the water take away the pain. It'll all go away if you just let go'
The voices had started again, this time I couldn't silence them. I was beginning to believe them again. I was hurting so so much. Not just from being beaten up, but from how worthless I felt. What do I have to live for? Who do I have to live for? No one.

The water surrounded my body, scorching my cuts and bruises, the pain was no where near as bad as the actual punches I received. I laid there in the bath, the voices swamping my mind. Just let go. Let go Jake. It'll all be ok, just let go. Tears rolled down my face as I submerged my face under the water. I'd taken my last breath. It would all be over soon. I closed my eyes and relaxed my body, the pain had left me. 30 seconds had passed and I started chocking I was almost out of breath.

"Jake! JAAAAAKE. THE TV IS BROKEN " for gods sake I couldn't even commit suicide without Nicole interfering. I sat up quickly and coughed for a solid minute.
"JAKE COME HERE AND FIX THE TV"
"I'M COMING ALRIGHT" I screamed back. The voices had gone, and the pain came back. I was so close to being at rest and then Nicole ruined it. She ruins my life and my attempted death. I hate her so much, but not as much as I'm hating this pain right now. I got out the bath, wrapped up in a towel and went to see Nicole to 'fix the tv'.