The New National Anthem (Vic Fuentes fanfic)

Midnight

song: Hailie's Song by Eminem

A/N: I specifically picked this song because it's about when Eminem won custody of his daughter. I think it's really beautiful and I just want to cry when I listen to it. Technically, or would have worked better for the last chapter, but I forgot to do a song so, this can be for this chapter and the one before this. This is only the third song I've remembered to do in this whole book but fuck it, three is better than zero.

KATRINA'S POV

I'll spare you all the boring details of what happened. We got off the plane, took a taxi to were Warped currently was and made our way to their bus. Funnily, it was the very same one that I had graffitied. I smiled at the memory of that night.

I slipped onto the bus behind everyone else. It didn't take a genius to figure out who the other people there were. For example, the business-like man who looked unhappy with the guys was probably the tour manager. And the girl with wavy shoulder length white-blond hair was most likely a merch girl or something. She gave me a smile and waved slightly, to which I forced a small smile back.

The drugs had completely worn off by now, leaving me back in reality. I thought of my meds I had for my headaches, maybe the prescription had gotten refilled at the hospital? Maybe. Otherwise Cara would probably send them with my clothes.

Stifling a yawn, I realized just how tired I actually was. Like, really tired. Of course, I'd slept nearly the whole plane ride, but I was still exhausted.

Mike glanced at me "Tired?"

I nodded and followed him back to the bunk area.

"You're in luck, Kitty. There's an extra bunk"

I looked up to the only empty one. Lovely. It was one of the highest ones. More specifically, just below my eye level. Given that that isn't very high for most people, but I was barely over 5 foot.

"You're kidding"

"Hey, when you show up to the party late, this is what you get"

"Fine. Gimme a boost though"

Mike latched his fingers together and held his hands low like a step. I put one foot in and placed one hand on his shoulder to balance. Moving quickly, I put my other leg in the bunk, then the rest of myself. Luckily, the bed already had sheets, blankets and a pillow.

Once I was comfortable and laying down, I curled up in a ball and fell asleep immediately.

-----

I jolted awake, paranoid over nothing. Jesus fuck, what the hell is wrong with me. The entire bus was pitch black, and the slight jostling told me we were moving. Reaching my hand out, I felt fabric. Apparently these bunks had curtains. I slowly pulled it back, but was met with an identical darkness.

I started to slowly climb out of my bunk, knowing very well that I wouldn't fall back asleep. With the bunks below me, I could sort of use then like a ladder, carefully stepping on the edges. It literally took me a full minute to get down, due to the fact that I was being overly careful about being quiet. But who am I kidding, I already knew all of the guys slept like rocks. As for the other people on the bus, well, whatever. Their lack of sleep isn't my concern.

I tip toed out to the main area, where the tv and couches were located. It was sort of weird to see it all first at night, since I'd gone straight to sleep when I'd gotten here. With the bus moving, I was a little unbalanced, but managed to make it to a couch without falling. God, that would be embarrassing.

I leaned my head against one of the windows and absentmindedly stared outside. Street lights turned into colored streaks with the speed we were going at. My fingers reached down to my left forearm and toyed with the gauze wrapped around it. I had to get stitches all down the inside of my arm, no doubt going to leave a horrible scar. But when adding it to the scars I already had, well, I just didn't even care anymore. But I was pretty sure that other people would. Ugh, the rumors would be flying within half an hour.

Oh my god, Vic Fuentes daughter tried to kill herself.

Her life is so perfect, she's just spoiled and ungrateful

And then, my weight would be a while other issue. People automatically think I'm anorexic, and just call it denial when I say I'm not. I hate how people alway think I have a problem with myself when they see my scars or how skinny I am.

I sighed and curled up even more into the couch. My eyes caught sight of a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on one of the tables. They just left it there. I smiled because really, they wouldn't miss just one. It's been over a month since I'd had one. The fact that I lacked my daily dose of nicotine made my stay with my mom is much worse.

And honestly, what was one cigarette? Just one. I picked up the two items, loving how familiar they felt in my hands. Sitting down on the ground, I toyed with the lighter a bit. Just bringing up a flame and shaking it out. It felt nice, although I nearly burned my fingers a few times. Definitely not a new feeling though, I had picked up a few scars over the years from this habit.

I don't know how much time passed, but the bus slowed down and came to a stop. Glancing outside, I saw that we were parked at a gaso station. Perfect. Once I was sure the driver wouldn't see me, I slipping out the door with the cigarettes and a lighter in my hands. Thankfully, the gas tank was on the opposite side of the door, so I didn't have to go far to get privacy.

Even though it was early summer, my bare feet were cold in the night air. I shivered in my baggy clothes and used the lighter to stay a little warm. I suppose when you factor in how much body fat I have, it makes sense.

Ah, fuck. Other buses had stopped too. Why didn't I think of that?

Because you're stupid, Katrina.

I probably jumped about twelve feet. What. The. Hell. Either I accidentally said the first part out loud and someone wanted to fuck with me, or I'm going crazy. I swear to god that it was an actual voice. When I was with my mom, I had little things like this. But it was mostly just seeing things in the corners of my eyes, with nothing there when I looked again.

Cooooool. Another issue to add to my list. What do we have so far? Lets see, self harm, drugs, alcohol, serious lack of weight, slight social anxiety and now...possible schizophrenia?

I shook off all the thoughts swarming in my mind and lit up a cigarette. That fact that I hadn't had one in over a month made it so much better. Taking a long drag, I leaned my head back and slowing let the smoke escape my lips. With my eyes closed, I breathed in on my cigarette again, feeling complete bliss. My muscles relaxed and I felt more calm than I was barely a minute ago.

The slamming of a door shocked me back to my senses. Quickly looking to my right, I saw two guys leaving a neighboring bus. They joked loudly and yelled, completely oblivious that it was the middle of the fucking night and people were sleeping. And trying to enjoy a damn cigarette.

One of them caught sight of me, curled up against the bus by the door. I suppose the lit end of my cigarette gave my away easily. Both of them started to walk over to me, and I then identified them as none other than Jack Barakat and Alex Gaskarth. Lovely. I prepared myself for the usual "cigarettes are bad for you" speech that people always gave me.

I guess they still hadn't recognized me yet, because I was able to see confusion on their faces in the fluorescent lights on the gas station.

"Are you...Vic's daughter?" Alex started

"I have a name" I retorted, mentally rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, uh...Kelsey, is it?"

"Katrina" I shot back

"When did you get here?" Jack sounded genuinely curious, maybe he actually remembered my name

"Couple hours ago"

Alex's eyes trailed down to my gauze-wrapped arm and he bit back the typical "what happened" question. Good choice, Mr. Gaskarth. But like my usual self, I just answered anyways.

"Razor blades are surprisingly sharp"

Taking a good, long drag of my cigarette, I tossed it on the ground ad went back onto the bus, leaving them to figure out what I meant.