I wrote this piece for a speech to give in CLT (Communication Leadership Training 2016) entitled as "You are Amazing."
Well, of course, i wasn't successful enough to feel proud; stage freight, mind blocked, over thinking, & not confident. I wanted...
Greetings y'all, Can I say this, that you are all amazing to me, to everyone, without mentioning it everyday?
Don't depend on anyone for your happiness and success, at the same time you cannot blame them. There are always people who would hate on what you do even without any reason but focus on the love that others give; your family, friends, admirers and so on. This life is your life! It or was never meant to please anyone. So, do you what you have to do to make yourself proud.
Stay positive. Like they say "no one is perfect." Having failures, is not a bad thing; it's an experience. Don't give up because someday you will get there. Work hard for your goal, ignore the negativity and during this process, you need to 'chill'.
Self-doubt, which i always had; am I pretty enough for someone to accept me or for HIM to like me or even notice me? What about getting low grades in my quizzes while my other family members are known as the smartest and intellectual people, and then there's me, NOTHING. Always failed to reach the expectations of my families and teachers.
Over thinking, over thinking the things that didn't even happen and regretted the things I did not get to try. This made me feel horrible,terrified and confused, that I wanted to leave this world without a word. I felt so lonely, I often cried. Even my younger siblings would disrespect me from time to time. This continued years after years, attempting to go somewhere far, far away; for I thought that people who knew me would be happy to see me gone....
My heart would sometimes feel so painful that it was hard for me to take my breath.
But, at the end, I literally got used to myself for this whole sad and broken scenarios. "This is not the life I want to live in!" I shouted. Every time I thought of doing something bad, there's that feeling, the feel of GUILT because nothing really happened, it was all my negative thoughts that was roaming in my head, refining them daily.
I was never happy with who I was, until I realised I had a purpose, maybe this whole thing was just for me to earn something. Things happen for a reason and I enlightened myself to keep going because I was tired, tired of waiting for someone to consult me. If I am matured enough, then why not do it myself? So I read a lot of motivational quotes online, apologised to my friends if I ever did so hurt them without my knowledge and most of all, said sorry to myself for suffering like this.
I closed my eyes, inhaled and exhaled, removed all my negative thoughts and after a minute or so, I opened them again with a smile on my face. :)
On that day onwards, i remained on the positive track. I enjoyed the things that stresses me out or simply, making the good out of the bad to develop my well-being. Today, I want to empower you all with these wise words said by a wise man l, Henry Ford;
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Last but definitely the least, REMEMBER, "The one who falls & gets up is much stronger than the one who never falls"
