A Nerdy Muslim Girl's Youth

Partners?

How did I fall in love with Majd? I don't even know. Maybe it was because once, I saw a Percy Jackson book fall from his locker, and him picking it up quiclkly so no one would see it. Or maybe it was because I saw him in the local library, tucked away in a corner reading a Harry Potter book. Those are are just wild guesses. 

He's the most popular guy in our grade, I think. He'd never go for me. I don't know why I even started to like him. It seems almost cliche that I did. And I hate cliches. 

"Okay class," says my teacher. "I want you to partner up with someone and write a report on one of our presidents from the colonial period in America. Only ONE person. No exceptions." 

I'll just go with Malak, we aren't that close, but she's someone I can work with that I know won't take advantage of me. 

"Partners," Majd asks looking like he really needs me to bring his grade up. 

"I - um, I was actually going to ask Malak. Sorry."

"Too late for that," he says. "She's partnered up with Ahmad. Didn't you know she liked him?"

I nod, even though I didn't actually know, or cared. 

"So. Partners?" 

"Sure," I say while I start to flip through the textbook, looking for a president to do. I want to do F.D.R, but knowing him, he'll probably want to do someone easy like Obama or Bush. 

"You mind if we do F.D.R? I'm fascinated by him. It's like he did so much for our country, and he gets paid back with getting Polio. Damn." 

My face starts to get warm. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I'm a Muslim girl. I even wear a scarf. But these feelings, they're normal, right? I mean, he's had girlfriends. Maybe not Muslim or even Arab ones, but girlfriends who he has probably kissed many many times. I shouldn't like him. He'd never like me. I wear a hijab, I'm a complete and utter nerd, and I''m not even that pretty. I mean I'm normal-looking by standards, but I am most definitely not America's Next Top Hijabe. 

"We can do him. Uh, how are we planning on meeting up to do all of this project? I don't know about you," I say afraid to tell him, "but my parents won't allow a boy over my house. Even if I was dying and needed a male-only doctor. They're pretty strict." 

His looked down, and chuckled. "That's absolutely fine. It can be at the library, if that's okay?" 

I smile. "Really wish I came up with that bright idea before I said anything." 

"So, tomorrow? Around 5 o'clock?" 

"Yes, I'm not busy." 

Not like I ever am anyways. 

                                                                                    ----

I'm sitting at a table that I reserved for us. I'm nervous about this. I told my parents that I was meeting up with friends. Not just one boy, who I didn't know even called me his friend. I told them that a boy will be there, obviously, but they never get worried since they usually know Amal is there. I don't even know if he'll show up right now, I think. He probably has some girl he is too busy texting or being with, not sitting in a library with an average-looking Hijabe talking about the battles F.D.R had to face. 

"Nadirah," he says as he looks around the shelves of books. 

"Here," I faintly say, as I don't want to disturb the others. 

"Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I had um, family things." He looks down at his phone, like he is expecting a call or a text. 

"No worries. Let's get started, shall we?" 

We worked until the library closed. He made me laugh, and that was the first time in a long time that I felt happy from talking to someone. He made jokes about Eleanor, and I couldn't stop myself from snorting. God, I hated my laugh. 

"I love your laugh Nadirah." 

"What," I ask with my face getting flushed. 

"I just felt you needed to know. I figured you were thinking that you shouldn't have laughed in front of me because you were afraid of me making fun of you, but that'll never happen." 

"Wow, thank you? I never knew any guy felt that way." 

He looked up at me. "Well now you know that I do." 

And we kept our eyes still intact until the P.A sounded saying the library was closing in fifteen minutes. I broke off the eye gazing, this was haram. 

'Well, this was fun," I say with an exasperated voice. "Same time tomorrow?" 

He looks disappointed. "Yeah, same time." 

I pick my things up, and walk away. I don't want to think about what just happened. What the hell is going on with me?