A Nerdy Muslim Girl's Youth

The Walk

"Well, are you coming or not," Majd asks as his hand is pulled out for me to come. "I can't stay here forever." 

"Do your siblings and dad know you're here?" 

"Yeah, I told them I needed to go on a walk. It's fine," he smiles, "but I'd be lying if I said I went on a walk when I actually didn't." 

"Okay, okay." I started to walk next to him, and he led us both onto this trail I had never seen before. 

"You're not going to kill me are you?" I ask while I stop in my tracks. 

"What? No. I can't afford losing another person I trust in this world," he looks down at his feet and waits for me. 

"I'm sorry, I completely forgot even though you told me only minutes ago," I turn my head to look at the trees,"You know, this is new to me. The whole guy thing. I've never really been friends with one." 

"What're talking about? I see you in the hallways with guys plenty of times. I mean, not in the bad way like flirting, but more like in a hey-what's-up type of way." 

"I know what you mean when you see me in the halls with those guys, but they only ever talk to me about homework help or DOING the actual homework itself. I'm a nerd Majd," I look at him in the eye, "Guys don't like me, and never will because they're always intimadated by me being smart. Sometimes I wish I was like all those other girls in our grade - the ones you've dated - maybe then will guys like me if I'm as dumb as a bowling ball." 

"Hey, don't say that. Look at me! I'm friends with you aren't I? I have never asked you for homework, and I never will." 

"Yeah, well, you're one of the few of the guys in our grade who actually is smart. All the others are moronic." 

"I take that as a compliment," he grins at me. 

I laugh. "It is one." 

"So, I told you about my life, now tell me about yours." 

I didn't have anything as interesting as his story. I had four siblings, and both my parents were alive and well Hamdillah. What could I tell him? Of my obsession with books and Harry Potter? Of my love of 60's and 80's music? I was weird, he wouldn't want to hear weird. He wouldn't want to like weird. But why did I even care about him liking me anymore when he told me I was the closest he's ever gotten with a girl? I decided I would just tell him, there was nothing to lose by telling him how I really was outside of school. 

"I have four siblings; two brothers: Ahmad & Mahmoud, and two sisters: Aisha & Leila. My parents weren't born here, so they're pretty old-fashioned, but they've come around a lot for me. Hamdillah, everyone in my family is healthy." 

"What about other stuff about you? Like what do you like?" 

This was the question I was afraid about. I take back wanting to know about Majd's life since know he wanted to know the exact same out of mine. 

"Well, as you already know, I like to read. I like sixties & eighties music, I know that sounds weird, but you did ask." 

He looked at me in disbelief. "You're kidding." 

I felt embarresed now. "No. Listen Majd, I know it's weird. I'm weir-" 

"No, no, no your not," he stopped me so I can face him, "Nadirah, I listen to that type of music too. You listen to the Supremes, and Dion, and Pat Benetar? I'm so happy," he jumped up and down, "I've never met anyone else that listen to this music besides my sister Mariam, but wow, I'm seriously so happy." 

I started to laugh while clutching my stomach. "I'm happy you're happy. I've never met anyone either! Or else I wouldn't have been shy to tell you that I listen to that type of music. And yes, I do listen to them. What's your favorite song by the Supremes? MIne is Baby Love." 

He looked at me again, and it seemed his eyes were about to bulge out. "That's my favorite song too! Wow, I can just marry you now." He blushed, and I did too. 

We were getting to what seemed like an end, but I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay here forever with him, to stay in this place that was isolated from everyone else, and it would just be us. Him and I. But I knew that it wouldn't happen, that we had to leave soon, that i had to leave soon. I knew this was bad, this whole thing where I like a guy. I mean where in the Quran does it say you're allowed to have crushes? I knew that when you were born your soulmate was written, but how were you supposed to know? Because that's horrible. I'd much rather live life and know one day I'll find someone, than go through everyday meeting a guy and thinking he could possibly be my husband. It'd drive me insane, and it was doing so now. 

I decided to change the subject. "You forgot that I liked to read."  

"You already know the answer to that, I like to read too. In fact, I have two bookshelves at home, six shelves high each, filled with books. I love to read. At school, I told you I didn't because I didn't want anyone to hear it," he looks at me and his eyes have that regretful look, "but I wish I hadn't. I want to let everyone know what type of person I am Nadirah. All of that is thanks to you." 

"You shouldn't be thanking me, it's all you. Really Majd, you're a wonderful person. I can't believe you just found out you were now." 

"You helped me realize it. I thought I was wonderful by having girlfriends, and being a douche, but there is so much more to life than that Nadirah. So much more. I feel like I can finally go to college and become something like a doctor. A doctor would be amazing. I could help people. People like my mom, and like my dad. Like my alcoholic brother." 

"I - I really didn't do anything." 

"But you did. And I owe my life to you." 

The trail now ended, and it was time he got back to his dad's house. I had to hurry soon, I texted my mom I'd be back by five, and it was 4:45. 

"I have to go," he said, "but can I text you later?" 

"Yes," I said, You can text me anytime you want to, I thought. 

"Alright," he said while smiling,"I'll talk to you later tonight." 

"Bye," I waved.

We both went opposite ways, and my mind suddenly went blank. Like this walk hadn't happened, that he didn't tell me his most heart-wrenching story only an hour ago. But I guess that's what happens when you love people, you always want them with you, because the moment they leave, you suddenly forget everything that happened.