Shorts

This could be a generic "welcome to my short stories" page where I go on to explain everything following this part. I could thank you for taking the time to read. Instead, I'll give you three different stories (why else are you here but to read?) brought to you by my sixteen-year-old-self, the fourteen-year-old version of my sister, and my Dad.

If you happen to take the time to read them (and I wouldn't blame you if you don't), please comment and let me know which one is more boring (or funny if that's your thing). Years and years later it is still a matter of debate and I wish it to be settled once and for all.

THE WHITE FLUFF (OR FUR)

The white fluff of fur is rolling around on my floor. It has small particles of dirt in it and smells like dog hair. If you blow on it, it will move. If you sweep it up, it will be gone. Bye piece of white dog hair. The world does not miss you but it doesn't matter. There will be another piece of dirty fluff in your place, rolling around my house. My dog loses a lot of white fluff. The white fluff, or fur, as some people like to call it, sticks to my clothes. I don't like it when it sticks to my clothes. When it sticks to my clothes, I get annoyed.

Sometimes the white piece of fluff or fur gets into my computer. I get more annoyed at it then. It makes my computer heat up. It isn't good when my computer heats up. The white piece of fluff is not edible. But I think it is. I might try eating it one day. But then I might heat up like my computer. Too bad. The white piece of fluff sticks to my pillow. But I don't brush it off. Whenever I see my pillow, I am too tired to brush off the white piece of fluff. Then it gets into my hair. I brush it out. Then the white piece of fluff gets onto my hairbrush. I take it out. It goes in the garbage with all the rest. Bye piece of white dog hair. The world does not miss you but it doesn't matter. There will be another piece of dirty fluff in your place, rolling around my house.

If the white piece of fluff gets into my stew, I take it out. If the white piece of fluff gets on my pillow, I leave it there. My dog has lots of fluff. The white fluff of fur is rolling around on my floor.

THE CAT

Once upon a time, there was a cat. This cat really really really liked playing with his toy mouse. He also really liked going for walks at night time. The cat's name was Bob. He really liked his mushy food. One day he even at a whole tub of it. His favourite food was bananas. He really liked bananas, especially the yellow ones with nice brown spots all over them. They were his favourite. Bob also really liked playing cards. His favourite card game was go-fish. But he didn't like fish. He liked bananas.

Bob liked to sleep. He liked to sleep in the morning. He liked to sleep in the evening. He liked to sleep in the afternoon. He liked to sleep during the night. Bob liked to sleep. Bob had a pet dog. The dog liked to eat his bone. The dog also liked sitting on the couch. While eating his bone. The dog's name was Fred. Fred really liked oranges. But not Bananas. But Bob wouldn't buy oranges. He bought bananas. So Fred was sad. But Fred got lots of bones. So he was happy.

Fred liked playing cards with Bob. But Bob would always cheat. Especially while playing go fish. But Fred would always win. Fred liked winning. When he won, Bob would buy him an orange. But instead, Bob would buy bananas.

YAWN

Melvin sat down and thought it was an ordinary day. About as ordinary as it comes. Melvin pulled out his old cellphone and called his friend, Norvel.

"Hey Norvel." Says Melvin

"Who's this?" Says Norvel.

"It's me, your only friend." Melvin says.

"Oh. Hi Melvin." Says Norvel.

"Hi Norvel. Whatcha doin'?" Melvin says.

"Waiting for the kettle to boil." Says Norvel.

"Are you making tea?" Says Melvin.

"Nope." Norvel Says.

"Are you making coffee?" Melvin Says.

"Nope." Norvel Says. "I like to drink hot water."

"Oh." Says Melvin.

"So Whatcha doin'?" Says Norvel.

"Sitting down." Says Melvin.

"Why you sitting down?" Norvel Says.

"Because I'm tired." Melvin Says.

"Oh. I'm going to go drink my hot water now." Norvel Says.

"Ok, Bye." Melvin Says.

"Bye." Says Norvel.

Norvel pressed the hang-up button on the phone. Norvel then poured out the boiling hot kettle water into a cup.

"Hi Norvel." Melvin Says as Norvel comes out of the kitchen and sits next to Melvin on the couch.

"Hi Melvin." Norvel Says.

"What were you doing in the kitchen?" Says Melvin.

"Boiling water." Says Norvel.

"Oh yeah." Melvin Says "I think you told me."

"Yeah, I think I did." Norvel Says.

Hope y'all enjoy