Lettuce Head

Chapter 4

"Can I have some water?" Grandpa Mole asked while she was still in a daze.
"Yea...sure," said Dan racing to the kitchen while Harry sat down on the couch and started watching My Teenager is Pregnant and So Am I. "Here you go Grandpa Mole." Dan said as he completely missed her mouth when pouring water into it.
"Hahahahahaha,"Harry laughed "that girl's boyfriend isn't allowed to sleep with her anymore because her dad thinks she's gonna get prego again!" he said as he was pointing at the TV laughing.
"Peasant," Dan mumbled under his breath as he rolled his eyes. Grandpa Mole finally got off the floor and walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge door. She pulled out Kim Kardashian's placenta and started to eat it. Harry just sat on the couch starring at Grandpa Mole disgusted. As soon as Grandpa Mole sat down Harry got up and started to walk out the door, but his shirt got stuck on something. He turned around to find that his shirt was stuck on Grandpa Mole hideous toenails. Harry sprinted out of the house, when he was running he tripped over Dan who was just laying in the doorway. Once Harry got out of the house he smashed into Mama Sasquatch. Mama Sasquatch just kept on walking up the steps while Harry was blacked out in the front lawn. Once Mama Sasquatch got inside Grandpa Mole got off the couch to greet her.
"I've got a surprise!," Mama Sasquatch squealed. She reached into her bra and pulled out Louis. As soon as he was out of her bra he passed out on the floor.

*hours later*

Louis woke up finally. He was officially scared for life. He tried to run out of the house only to find himself smashed against a glass door.
"We should probably lock him up in a cage ... ya know... for safety reasons," Mama Sasquatch said.
"No I think we should let it be free ... in the wild," Grandpa Mole replied.
"Yea your probably right," Mama Sasquatch replied. So, Mama Sasquatch grabbed the blacked out Louis and carried him upstairs. Grandpa Mole was confused about what Mama Sasquatch was doing. Before Grandpa Mole could go upstairs to check on them she heard a big thud outside. She walked out the door and saw Louis in a bush near the house. Mama Sasquatch dropped him out of the window! The bush he landed on wasn't any kind of bush. It was a rose bush. His butt had many throbs in it. His butt had deflated. Grandpa Mole just decided to leave him there. She went back into the house and slept.

*next week*

"Hey guys what did I miss when I was gone on vacation?," asked The Family Pet.
"Well... I'm pregnant with a whale's baby!," exclaimed Mama Sasquatch.
"That sounds about right," The Family Pet replied. Just then Paul, One Direction's bodyguard, walked through the cafeteria door.
"Are the one who threw Louis Tomlinson out of the window?," he asked Mama Sasquatch.
"Of course I am!," shrieked Mama Sasquatch. Paul's stern face turned into a smile.
"Well can I just say I am honored to meet you!," Paul replied smiling. While Mama Sasquatch was blushing, Grandpa Mole and The Family Pet sat there in disbelief.