LEMONADE

Pray You Catch Me

I tried to make a home out of you, but doors lead to trap doors, a stairway leads to nothing. Unknown women wander the hallways at night. Where do you go when you go quiet? You remind me of my father, a magician ... able to exist in two places at once. In the tradition of men in my blood, you come home at 3 a.m. and lie to me. What are you hiding? The past and the future merge to meet us here. What luck. What a fucking curse.

"Can we go up on the volume?" I asked. Kevin nodded and signaled me to continue. We've been recording first song off the album, Pray You Catch Me. The ruminating chorus sees me searching for clarity, even if it means i'm caught eavesdropping and breaking one of the cardinal bonds of a healthy relationship, trust.

"Nothing else ever seems to hurt like the smile on your face. And it's only in my memory, it don't hit me quite the same. Maybe it's a cause for concern, but I'm not at ease. Keeping my head to the curb." After a few more hours of going over the song and more songs, we were finally finished. I've been really putting my all into this album. It shows the growth of my life and my life lessons. The last couple of years have been really hard for me and my family. I've been distant from my love ones with the exception of my mother, sister, and best friends, Kelly and Michelle. Throughout this situation they all have been rock. They have supported me through everything and I can't explain how much I appreciate them for their love and support.

"I'm starving girls." I smiled. "Let's go eat then, I'm hungry too." I grabbed my pursed and followed behind Kelly and Michelle to the back exit of the building. I don't know how, but paparazzi always found a way to find me. We stepped out of the building, stepping into the all black van. Kelly let the driver know that we were ready to go, and he pulled off.

"This album is amazing girl, I would think it's your best one yet." Michelle said. "Thank you, I just hope everyone accepts me and my transition." I looked up at them. "This is something I've never done." "Honestly, i'm kinda scared." I sighed. Kelly looked at me like I was crazy or something. "Crazy?" "Uhm, who are you and what have you done with my sister?" I laughed. "The Beyoncé i know isn't scared of anything, hell your ass doesn't even get nervous." "That's right" Michelle added. "Girl please, people are gonna accept any and everything you do." I smirked. "Especially that damn B-Hive." Michelle said. "Okay okay, don't come for my Hive. Those my babies." I added. "And they are entirely too damn much." Kelly laughed. "And for the haters that don't like the album..." We all looked at each other. "MIDDLE FINGERS UP!" We laughed and enjoyed the rest of our night.

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As I got home, I took my 6 inch heels off and puts my leftover food in the refrigerator. I walked in the living room and watched my favorite show, Power. I started to dose off and have a slight flashback.

I walked in the house and went upstairs remembering that I forgot my charger for my mac book. I grabbed my charger and was on my way downstairs when I heard a laugh. I followed the sound and noticed it was coming from the bedroom. I decided to go check it out. As I got closer and closer to the bedroom his voice got louder. I pressed my ear against the bedroom door and listened quietly.

"I'm gonna come see you tonight, be ready for me." He told her. "Okay Shawn, I will." She replied. "And make sure you got what i bought you on. I ain't spend my money for nothing." "Okay Jay." She laughed. "Kiss me." "Through the phone ?" He asked. "Duh, what other way is their to do it." "You'll find out tonight." He laughed.

I wiped my tears as I ran out of the house, not believing what I just heard with my own ears. I waited there, long enough for him to catch me. I don't know why but I wanted him to catch me. Reasons why, mostly because I didn't wanna hear something that I know would've broken my heart into a thousand pieces. Was I too late ?

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