"Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying, but nine times outta ten, I know you're trying. So I'm trying to be fair. And you're trying to be there and to care. And you're caught up in your permanent emotions. All the loving I've been giving goes unnoticed. It's just floating in the air, lookie there. Are you aware you're my lifeline, are you tryna kill me. If I wasn't me, would you still feel me? Like on my worst day? Or am I not thirsty, enough?"
"Okay, that's it for today" Jay said.
I took the studio headphones off and place them on the hook. I stepped out the recording booth looking up at Jay and Mike Dean.
"You did great Bey" Mike said. "Thanks" I replied. I looked Jay up and down. Even though he's my manager, and husband, I ain't really fucking with him. He did some real hurtful shit to me, and it's gonna take me a good lil while before I can move pass it. I know he's loves me but it's hard for me to believe that at the moment. If you love someone, why hurt them ? Words can't explain how hurt I am. I mean, it's fucked up how you can give someone so much, all of you, only for them to take it for granted. What a fucking curse.
"Bey?"He started. "How you feeling?" I nodded. "I'm fine." "You sure? ..I can get you something if you wa-" "Let's go" I cut him off. "Ight."
**********
I got out the car, making my way to the door. For some reason, I was hungry as hell. I just couldn't stop thinking of food. I don't know why. I looked in the fridge to see if I can find a little snack to keep the hunger down for a minute, nothing. I checked in the freezer and found some chicken breast, so I took two out and got a bowl filled with hot water and put the chicken in it.
"Mommy!" Blue yelled. "Hey baby, I missed you." "I missed you too." She kissed my cheek. "I love you so much baby." "Love you too." She smiled. "You hungry?" She nodded "Yep!" "Okay, go in your room and watch TV, mommy's gonna make dinner." "Yaayyy!" She ran upstairs.
I smiled and started to rinse and clean the chicken. After I cleaned it, I got a pan out and put some vegetable oil in it. I started to season the chicken when I heard a knock at the door.
"One second!" I rinsed my hands and dried em off. I walked up to the door and looked through the peep hole.
"Hey Mom!" I opened the door hugging her. "Hey baby, how you doing?" "I'm fine, and you?" I asked. "I'm fine baby, where's my blue bear?" "She just ran upstairs." I laughed. "I was about to make us something to eat." "Rich and I just left Shake Shack" She started. "He had to run to the Warner Brothers studios to check out some things." "That's great" I smiled. "How's the show going ?"
About month ago Rich got called to be apart of a new show called Saints and Sinners, and from what I've seen the show is amazing. Rich had been in a mold for awhile because he couldn't find work, but since he got hired for the show he's gotten so much better.
"The show is amazing." She started. "...but there is some bad news." I lifted a brow so she knows she has my full attention. "His character gets killed." My eyes widened. "Oh my god, does he know yet?" She shook her head. "No, the script got delivered yesterday but i didn't give it to him yet." "That's crazy, how does he die?" She sighed. "He gets shot." I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when i heard another voice. "Who gets shot?" He said. I rolled my eyes and continued to do what I was doing before my mother got here. "Richard." She started. "He gets killed on the new episode, I haven't told him yet tho." His eyes got big. "Thats crazy, but anyways.. hey mama." He said hugging her. "Hello Shawn."
To be continued...
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Fanfiction"I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses with pages of the Holy Book. But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know..." "Are you cheating on me?"