runaway baby → minizerk

f o u r t e e n

S I M O N

I jumped out of Josh's car and legged it. Sprinting as far away from the boy who I still loved. However, I couldn't punish him with the presence of myself any longer - I was a burden. I was stopping them from doing what they wanted to do. I was stopping them from being happy. It's time I accepted it. My tired and aching legs carried me back to the pale door of the house although it wouldn't be a home to me much longer. The bitter cold taste of winter air on my tongue as my hands shakily ruffled around in my pockets to find the silver shiny key. I put it in the lock, twisted it. To enter a plain deserted house that was once full of colourful happy memories, now, it was drained of colour and stuck in a depressing black and white frame. I slowly slid off my trainers and walked into the kitchen seeing a dangerously sharp knife lazily placed straight in the middle of the polished countertop. The light from the bulb above it reflected in a way that I didn't have the strength to pull it away from my gaze. Eventually, I ripped my head away from it realising how much I'd fucked up such a perfect like I had. I'd ruined something so special.

I worthlessly threw myself at the stairs, wanting to get in and out of this house as quick as I could. The quicker this ends, the quicker the pain stops. That's just how it was. My salty tears fell down on to the creme coloured carpet as I sobbed and whimpered. I was dying, I had only just accepted the fact that I have no benefit in this world, no function, no point. I'm not alive. I'm just breathing. Useless. My time to make something worthy had obviously run out a while ago.

I ran into the bedroom that used to be ours and picked up a fresh black pen with a scrappy piece of white lined paper; I guess this is goodbye.

J O S H

He has actually pissed me off. I was just driving calmly across the cold winter streets then he shows up at the side of the road. I allow him to get in my car and try to speak to him. He doesn't let me and he ran away. He ran away. Fucking ran. I can't deal with that boy any longer. I love him sure but he lies, he keeps secrets, he has changed. That's not Simon. That's a boy who as been shoved into a life no one wants and sadly the only way to get him out on it is to force him out of it. He needs to grow up and learn to stop crying and learn to stop running. He needs to learn to stop being a runaway baby. Anger bubbled in my stomach as I forcefully slammed shut my car door. My pace was quick and my breath was deep, attempting to calm myself down. I gritted my teeth whilst my fists turned white at the strength I was clenching them at. Anger containment seemed to be utterly impossible to me right now. Like it didn't exist. The door for some strange reason was unlocked, I was the last one out of the house and I do fondly remember locking it as I left. Then obviously the only reason, Simon was home.

"Simon!" I yelled out violently swinging the door open and shut. I marched in as if I were leading an army into a war. "Simon! You better get down here now! Before I end up breaking something!" The words exited my mouth without thought. However, despite that, I went along with it. Then there was no reply. Just silence. Deadly poisonous silence. "Simon I swear to god if your not down here on the count of three I'm going on a rampage!" I had to treat him like a baby. "One!" I paused hearing shuffling and sniffles from the floor above. "Two!" Closely followed by hesitant floorboards creaking from the stairs. "Three!" The blonde stood on the second to the bottom step. His hair a mess, his once sea blue eyes glowing a puffy dulled red. His thin arms wrapped tightly around his skinny waist as if to protect himself. He was most obviously scared - so scared that the fear radiated off of him in beams. Part of me wanted to comfort him again, to lightly place my fingers on his chin and tilt his head up so his stunning eyes met mine. But this time, I couldn't, Simon had to learn a lesson sooner or later.

"You," I spoke harshly a voice so strong he flinched at my words. Tears overflowing. "Holy shit stop being a little bitch! If you staying like this then I'm not even sure if I can stay with you!" I bubbled with being overwhelmed and continued to stare at him. I was done with being soft with him because at some point he's going to have to go into the rough violent world and deal with it. "I'm so done with being your carer, your babysitter, your boyfriend. All you are and all you have been it a runaway baby. And I fell in love with Simon Minter. A boy who was kind and loyal no matter what the world threw at him. Then he became a self-obsessed bitch who believes he should be taken care of because he was kidnapped." I had no opinion whether he was kidnapped or not I was genuinely speaking out of spite. His face grew paler and his eyes burned into mine. I was not falling under his spell. "Go." I stated turning away from him and going into the cupboard for food. I heard shuffling and a bang. He was gone.