Picking up the pieces (X Reader X Avengers)Slow Burn

3 : improvised therapy session

Ed had popped back out to go grab some junk food and wine, you quickly gave the flat a quick tidy up, lighting a couple of candles, you sat down on the couch both of you already deciding on a film before he left, your brain began to notice the quiet and decided to roll with the dice picking a random topic to make you think about.

The screams

They were just constant, and it was times like this where you really pay attention to it, the noises that erupted from their mouths, you carry with you every day, the screams started to become ear piercingly loud, your ears becoming sensitive and started to ring, you grabbed a pillow and covered you ears as best as you could as you began to rock yourself back and forth, no longer paying attention to your surroundings, you didn't see Ed, rushing in kneeling to meet your eyes, you let out a scream not expecting him.

He held up his hands to show you he meant no harm; you threw yourself onto him as you shook slightly from the come down. He held you as he rubbed his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. You moved away from him, giving him a slight watery smile and he returned the smile as he stood up.

"I'll just go get the stuff"

You nodded at him and pulled your cardigan sleeves further down your arms as he rushed back in rummaging through the plastic bag frowning as he looks at you.

"You know, not to make you feel any worse, but I tried finding some of those sour gummies you really love but they had none, I went to like four different places!"

You looked at him with a slight pout at the news, but you were content with the snacks he has bought, as well as the cheap wine.

"We also have a conversation to pick back up, we're not leaving it on the pin board, my darling" he said as he sat down next to you giving you an amused look compared to your fed up one. "Doesn't have to be right now, I will let you pick the first movie, I'll go get the wine glasses!"

You chuckled as he rushed off into the kitchen, you looked through your choices and decided you needed a good dopamine release, seeing Hairspray in the collection you gasped happily as you pressed play, just in time for Ed to be walking back in with the glasses already filled with wine and bowls tucked beneath his arm for the snacks. He side-eyed the tv and rolled them slightly, laughing to himself, he handed you your glass as he put his own down, and started making a move on filling up the bowls, not allowing you to help. You pressed play as he took a handful of m&ms sitting down next to you, nearly crushing you. 

You were halfway through the film before you felt the anxiety begin to find a way to settle in the bottom of your stomach.

"I promise, I will find a therapist" you blurted out

"I know you will darling, but that's not what's worrying me" Ed had replied with ease, as he paused the film, turning his body to face you.

"I just, I don't know who to turn to about these dreams I just nee-"

"Turn to me Y/n, don't hold onto them on your own from now on okay? I know you trust Sal, but I know you don't like telling her about these things as much as you feel the need to"

Nodding you turn to face him, bringing your knees up to your chest, Ed follows and does the same. 

"I just don't want to burden anybody with the same problems"

"We're not just anybody okay? We are your best friends, and I'm speaking for only myself, but if you go down then we go down together okay? If you want to hold on to it, I will hold on with you, and if you want to let it go, I will help you do that, but I will  not sit here knowing you are in your head, obsessing with negative and self destructive thoughts, you hear me?"