Gunshots | Dunkirk (Larry)

12. Good old times

We started with "Where the broken hearts go" and it felt absolutely amazing to sing like that again. I've searched for Shawn in the audience and he looked so amazed near my mother. I sang looking at him, and he clapped along with Gemma. He looked happy, so I was able to relax and give everything I had on stage.

We then moved to "Rock me" which made the girls in the audience go crazy screaming. After a few more songs, we went for "Little things". This time I tried not to look at Louis although I could feel him watching me during the hole song. I only looked at Shawn when I said "I'm in love with you" and winked. He was slowly dancing and he smiled so widely at that part. And what was I supposed to do, I was slowly falling in love with him, although it hurt like crap to hurt Louis, he did it to me too, ten times worse actually. I wasn't the one to blame.

After that lovely song, we moved on to our latest album and sang all of the songs from it, audience going crazy once again. We did the ran around the stage as usual, messed up with the water bottles and sang with all of our hearts. I could see Briana was very ecstatic about her baby father singing, as well as Danielle was. Too complicated for me to be frank. I sang for our fans but mostly this time for Shawn. I also tried to reduce my tangents with Louis as much as possible, which I could tell bothered him.

An hour later we sang the last song, which was "Infinity" and again I couldn't  resist looking at Shawn. I really started to care about him, and develop some feelings. I could tell during some of the songs including this one, he had tears in his eyes.

When I was looking at him, at some point Louis' voice cracked and I instantly turn to see what happened. He had his back facing to the audience and hands on his face. I went to see what happened and he was crying. I wasn't expecting that exactly, but we had to sing again so I told him to get over it and sing, and that we'll talk later.
The audience asked for a bis on "Love you goodbye" which we did. Luckily Louis was able to sing his solo, but of course he cracked again at the end.

Liam and Niall ended the night with a few thanks to the fans and families and Louis ran out of the stage to the back, and of course I went after him. I could hear him sobbing in the changing room.

"Lou, it's me, open up."
"Go away." He sobbed.
"I'm breaking this door, open up now." With a click the door opened and next to it I could see a small Louis curled up holding his knees to his chest.

"Lou, what's up, why are you crying?" I  asked him softly.
"It's nothing... really. You should go.."
"No, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."
"Are you really that blind Harry? Can't you see that I still love you? That I'm slowly falling apart without you? I missed you so fucking much while you were gone, and- and you came back with that guy.. " he started sobbing again.

"Lou, I thought you stopped loving me when you got together with Briana. I can't get between you two. You are a father now, you have your own little family, do you have any idea of how hard it was for me to cope with that and go through all of this? The love of my life, having a child with a women, and get in a relationship with another one?"

"I know and you're right, but I still love you Harry.." he looked at me with puppy bloodshot eyes.
"I still love you too, Lou, but I can't get between you and your.. family."

"I hate this situation, I hate you being gone to fight in that stupid war. What am I going to do if you get hurt.." he whispered looking away.
"Nothing, Lou listen to me. I wanted to go, it was my decision, to make it easier for us to get away from each other. You have a family to take care of as I said before, okay?"

"It's my fault."
"What?"
"It's my fault if you get hurt, or if you die."
"I won't, I'll be careful. Now let's go, the boys are waiting for us."
"I love you Haz, don't forget about that!"
"I love you too, Boobear." I hugged him and he managed to kiss me on the lips. I felt sparkles as always. It felt homey somehow. I missed him.

After our little moment he wiped his tears and we got out and met the boys who didn't know what happened.

"Hey what is going on?" Liam asked concerned.
"Emotional moment. Everything's okay now." I said.
"Okay let's go then, the vans are waiting, Harry, yours is first, family is waiting for you. Louis you're coming with us. Your family already left to take your kid home.
"Ok." Was all he said.

That night me and Shawn just sat on the sofa chilling under the blankets  drinking some apple and cinnamon spiced tea, getting warm and cozy in front of the fireplace that my mom had in her living.

"So you guys are always like that on stage?"
"What do you mean?" I asked confused sipping from my cup.
"I mean you're always running after each other and throw water and rip up your t shirts and stuff like that?"
"Yeah, it was way better before.. we used to have so much fun, the fans sometimes had projects ready for us, they were forming words or images in the audience so we can see them."
"So what happened?"
"We're not the same anymore.. one of the former band mates left the band and since then... kind of everything is falling apart.."
"Oh.. " he said and then he put his head on my shoulder slowly falling asleep.