Doctor, Doctor (R.S.L)

Chapter 20

Our life immediately resumed when we went back home, Ross and I going back to work. A lot of tears were shed when I said goodbye to my parents. I wasn't sure when I was going to see them next, but I hoped it was soon. Going months to even a year without seeing them was no longer an option. 

When summer officially arrived, Jess' summer camp began. With her occupied all day, I was able to pick up a few more hours at the restaurant. 

Too bad I was miserable. 

I wasn't sure if it was me, but I swear the customers had gotten even more rude. But for the sake of my job, I plastered on a smile. Was it bad that I wanted to poor drinks on their heads?

I felt like I should be doing more with my life. Being a waitress for the rest of my life wasn't part of the plan. Before Danny died, I planned on going to college, getting a degree and landing a full time job. I always dreamed of being a surgeon, and I felt like meeting Ross was some ironic twist of fate. 

He was the doctor and I was the waitress. 

But then I was raising my brother's baby, putting off college indefinitely. I loved Jess with all my heart, but I had my moments where I asked why me? Why did my brother and Sam decide to give me their daughter? They could've given her to our parents, or even Sam's parents. Why did they choose an eighteen year old girl just out of high school? 

Though despite my questions, I wouldn't change a thing. Jess was the best thing to ever happen to me. I feared the day I would have to tell her the truth. Would she hate me for lying? No longer consider me her mom? My blood pressure increased just by thinking of it. 

"You're quiet tonight." Ross commented, raising his eyebrows at me. "Everything okay?"

I nodded, twirling my fork in my spaghetti. "Just a crappy day at work. The usual." 

"If you hate your job so much, why don't you just quit? Find something you'll enjoy."

"Because no one's gonna hire someone without a college degree." 

"You could always go back to school." 

I let out a humorless laugh. "Easier said than done. Besides, I can't exactly afford that."

Any money I had was to pay the bills and anything Jess needed. Going back to school was the last thing on my mind. 

Dinner seemed to end on a sour note, and I was glad Morgan had offered to take Jess for the night. While Ross showered, I got ready for bed and snuggled under the covers. I didn't understand why asking such a simple question put me in a bitter mood? It was just a suggestion, nothing more. He meant well, that was all. 

I just hated how he made it sound so easy. Go back to school. Like I wasn't busy raising a child with a part-time job income. 

"I didn't mean to upset you." Ross said, stepping out of the bathroom in sweats. "I'm sorry." 

"Me, too." I murmured, watching as he got under the covers. "You have no idea how much I want to go back to school to get my degree. We never actually talked about it, but I've always wanted to be a surgeon. Just the thought of helping someone stay alive brought a smile to my face. But then the accident happened and college was on hold while I raised Jess."

"What about a scholarship?" He questioned. 

"Even if I could get one, what about Jess? I can't stick her with Morgan all the time when she's not in school. And how am I supposed to pay my bills if I quit my job? Going back to school is just out of the question." 

"You're forgetting one thing, Blake." He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. "You're not alone. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I love Jess like my own, and I love you, too. I plan on being with you for the rest of my life. So don't worry about the bills and taking care of Jess."