Mortal Questions

Chapter 8

Thor meets Loki at the door after his coffee date, "Well. That took longer than I expected."

"I'm sorry, were you timing me?" Loki furrows his brow, offended, and waits for Thor to let him pass.

"Yes. You said it would be a brief encounter. It was not."

"She was late. Rescuing trafficked children took longer than she expected."

Thor raises an eyebrow, "What?"

"Will you just let me in?"

"No. Not until I know you are telling the truth."

"You still don't trust me?"

"Do you me?"

Loki sighs and leans on the frame, "Her day work. Unpaid. She volunteers her time to rescue those who are exploited and thrown away. Today, the police discovered many children who were imprisoned. So she was quite busy helping to rescue them. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Who trapped them? I was not aware this was something done in Midgard."

"I assume it was for sexual exploitation, given her explanation. She said it was a drug raid. I don't know what that means."

"It means the police were doing serious work trying to catch those who deal in illegal substances when they found the children."

"And that is why our meeting took longer. She was unable to break free from her work when she anticipated. She came, harried, as quickly as she could."

"Violetta is one of Midgard's true heroes." Thor steps back to allow him in the apartment.

Loki nods and brushes past Thor, "It seems that way. She is a deeply caring woman."

"And does she care for you?"

"It appears that she does, to some capacity."

"Loki...you leave with me tomorrow."

"Or I disappear before. I know. I understand this."

"You are going to hurt her."

"I am going to say goodbye tonight after you and I have had our time together. She and I both understand our time is fleeting."

"That is past Mr Stark's curfew."

"Agent Romanov has said she will help keep him away. Or unaware. I don't know which. But Violetta called her."

Thor drops his face into his hand, "You're making a terrible mistake."

"I'm living what little of my life I have left to the fullest extent. Are you not glad that I have found companionship in Midgard? As you have Jane?"

"You know I no longer have Jane. At least not at the present."

"Fine. As you had Jane. It's not my fault you lost her."

"And how is it that you suddenly can find a Midgardian woman worthy? I remember words spat on the Bifrost, a dismissal that it could ever be a woman from this realm that distracted my heart. A promise to visit her yourself. And what would you have done on that visit, Loki? Destroyed her slowly out of spite for me? Or done your business quickly, violence against her body a weapon of war a threat you knew you could use to enrage me? You would have used her so easily. As though she were nothing, less than a being, and yet you suddenly find this one worth your time?"

"They were words said in anger, Thor- words calculated to drive a wedge. And I was still so young."

"You are still so young! It has only been a few years!"

"Long ones. Painful ones. Tortuous, even. You know this. One cannot keep one's innocence in the Void."

"You? Innocent before it?"

"Yes. In certain ways, very much." He carefully sits on the end of the bed.

Thor wants to push the matter, but the quiet way his brother answers, the way he averts his eyes even in the silence after, and the little uncomfortable way he folds his hands all tell Thor not to ask farther; he sighs, "Loki, just promise me you are not just thinking of this as a game. Of only yourself. Tell me you are considering her heart as well."

"Yes. And were I not, I think Violetta would know anyway. She has a keen eye for lies. Perhaps better than I, even."

"Now that would be an accomplishment." Thor pulls his chair to sit across from Loki, "So. What shall we do this afternoon and evening?"

"Walk. Take supper somewhere. Perhaps we should go out."

"Splendid. Let us wander the city until we find a delicious smelling restaurant and take supper. Then we will have some time to talk on our walk back here. We can say our goodnights and you can find your friend."

Loki nods, "Except for the part where you attempt to draw out a long heart-to-heart about why I should come back to Asgard with you. That bit, I think we'll skip."

"You really don't intend to return with me?"

"No. I don't. A life on the run is still better than the dungeons of Asgard. I cannot return there. Not to the place I was kept useless while our mother was run through."

"I can ask Father to put you in a different part of the prison-"

"No. That doesn't make a difference!" He stands suddenly and paces by the window, "I'm sorry. We're trying to be better brothers. Not snappish and always at war." He sighs, "I can't go back. End of discussion. I don't know where I will go, but go I will."

Thor nods, "I will be sent after you. You do know that? And I will find you. I can't pretend to lose your trail forever. Heimdall will know."

"Yes, I know." He settles back on the end of the bed, "Do not think running is the easy decision, Thor."

"Would you ever consider coming home?"

"Not so long as the All-Father draws breath."

"Would that I could have both my father and my brother again."

"No. You cannot."

"But why?"

"There would have been hope after I fell if he did not say what he said as I stood a prisoner at his feet. And for that condemnation, for making my worthlessness clear and tearing me from my mother, I cannot forgive."

"I do not consider you worthless. I wish he would have allowed me to stand beside you."

"He sent you both out. He wanted me alone."

"I do not understand why. You understood the gravity of your actions even in your most flippant moment. You may sometimes be foolish, but you are never stupid."

"With no one to defend me, the cuts struck as deeply as they could. No grief from her eyes. No righteous indignant glare from you. Not a single word or look to tell me I was yet cared for, perhaps even loved, no matter my mistakes. Now do you understand?"

"Isolation for the one who craves for others to give him worth."

Loki sighs, "I hate how that sounds."

"Because it is true."

"Yes. Because it is true."

There is a moment of silence before either of them speak; Thor stands and rests a hand on Loki's shoulder, "Let's go for a walk. We'll wander the city until we are tired and hungry. Then we will seek food."

Loki stands, straightens his suit, and nods in agreement, "Agreed. The bright day will be a lovely way to end this adventure and journey to Midgard."