He Waits for Me

Caress (chapter 3)

I stood near her window watching her silently. I knew she couldn't see me and I didn't want to let myself known. She intrigued me as always. I watched her come into her room clearly flushed and thinking hard about something. Her face contorted in comical expressions. She stood there in the middle of the room pulling faces for several minutes before she composed herself. Her face cleared and then she glanced at me. She looked me directly in the eyes. My breath stuttered. Could she see me? I felt the air around me quickly. No, I hadn't let the guard down. I slowly eased out of the corner to see if her eyes would follow. They didn't.

Instead she looked down slightly and to the left. I followed her gaze to her bed. There on her pillow was the tiger lily I'd left for her. She walked over to it and sat on the edge of her bed and lifted the flower. Her pale blue eyes clouded over in dream like way and she twirled it absentmindedly. A smile soon grew across her pale features. I ached to know what she thought. Was it the flower that affected her? A simple token of the affection I felt for her... Surely she was thinking of me. I could take it no longer. I walked behind her and let myself be seen. I'm not sure if she felt the pressure in the air change , but regardless she turned her head slightly.

I didn't say anything. What was there to say? I leaned over and caressed the back of her neck with my fingers. I rarely touched her. It was overwhelming to me and truth be told, I had trouble restraining myself. I heard her quiet sigh and felt her skin prickle at my touch. I wanted so badly to kiss her soft shoulder. To hold her in my arms and confess the love for her that I had always felt. But I didn't. I simply lifted my fingers and put the behind my back. I had already crossed a bit of a boundary as it was.

She sat with her back to me for a moment before breathing deeply and turning completely to face me. She looked at me without saying anything. I loved this the most about her. She spoke when she felt it was necessary, but knew when common words spoiled beautiful moments. We looked at each other so deeply for so long that she began to blush. I smiled wryly at that. That light pink that brushed her cheeks reminded me of pink roses blooming early at dawn, and of her pure innocence.

“Sometimes your touch feels more like a caress.” She said under her breath. I'm not sure if she had intended for me to hear her or not. I didn't respond. I sat fully on her bed behind her now. I knew I was pushing my own boundaries but sometimes I had so little self control. It seemed now that she was growing into a woman it was becoming near impossible. Her hourglass figure and sharper cheekbones were nothing of the four year old I had met that day while wandering through the woods. Still to this day I'm not sure why I stopped. I shouldn't have. I should have continued walking and let her be. But I didn't. I wanted to know her. I knew this would drastically change the course of her life. I suppose my interaction with her sealed her fate that day. How entirely selfish of me. But of course I couldn't take it back now.

“Where do you live Pierre?” She had turned abruptly to face me sitting crossed legged on her bed.

“Why do you ask?” I was stalling and she knew it. Her face pinched up slightly. She had never asked me this before and I knew it was only a matter of time. Knowing that the questions would eventually arrive did not prepare me however.

I settled for a half truth, “I live deep in the woods”

She looked at me with no emotion showing on her features. I couldn't be sure if she believed me or not.

“What is your last name?”

I smiled a bit at that one. I could easily answer her this. “Moreau”

I watched her say it to herself a few times. Her lips moved softy as she uttered my surname. I hadn't heard it spoken in so long. It sounded astoundingly sweet coming form her. My emotions must have been on full display upon my features, because she looked at me and beamed a large and beautiful smile toward me.

“ I like it. It suits you” She exclaimed. “I think in all the time I've known you Pierre, this is the most I've ever known about you...” She trailed off looking down.

“Trust this Ma Cherie' you know me better than anyone else.”

It was the truth. I didn't have family or friends. She was everything to me.

She looked down and the flower and back to me.

“Thank you Pierre for the flower.”

I moved closer her and whispered. “ It is the same as I always leave for you Ma Cherie'”

“ I love them all though. You have always left me flowers and it makes me feel special.” she whispered in answer her blush deepening.

I looked down at her and stoked her cheek softly. “Then I will continue to leave you flowers for as long as you like.”

It was then that she shocked me into near disappearing again. Without a hint of hesitation, she leaned and wrapped her soft arms around me. I froze momentarily unsure of how to react. Never before had I embraced her. She smelled like honeysuckle in the middle of spring. She pulled back too quickly for me.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.” She muttered turning slightly an array of emotions spilling across her face. I wanted so badly to pull her back to me. I had even extended my hand to her. But I stopped before touching her. Perhaps she hadn't meant to do that. Maybe she had regretted it. I wished I knew what she was feeling.

I leaned forward and took her hand with my own and kissed the back of it gently. I was quickly running out of energy and needed to leave.

“Will you come again later?” she asked, already knowing why I had stood up from her bed.

“As soon as I can.”

And with that I walked out of her room and quickly made myself unseen again. I felt so strange after visiting her. It both drained me and gave me an elated feeling. I wondered past her mother who was busy sorting the grocery's. The fatigue was hard for her today. I could see it in her eyes. I sighed to myself. It wouldn't be long until she'd have to tell Marabel of her illness.

Once at the abandoned cottage I sat against the bed and contemplated my visit. It was getting harder to control my emotions toward her. Just as they told me would happen. But I couldn't give in just yet. She still had life to live and I wouldn't interrupt it. Destiny be damned. I'd see to it that she got to experience things as she should for as long as she could.

I laid back on the bed and let my eyes close. Soon I'd be re-energized and I'd be with her again. And I'd have to try harder to keep from touching her. Things were always so much harder for me when I was close to her. I couldn't keep my hands to myself.

I dreamed of her as I always did. Her wavy golden hair that fell to her waist, her soft luminescent hazel eyes and her angelic round face. I wished that I could keep her this way. Sweet, blushing, innocent and alive...