Tick-Tock

Prologue

"Hey, when I die... let's meet again in the future..."

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"You'll have to look for me though! Do your best... okay?"

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"I might not know you yet, but I'm sure I'll feel the same way when we meet... just like the warm and happy feeling that I feel right now."

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"I'd definitely want to meet again!"

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"Maybe by that time... maybe then..."

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"We can finally be..."

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"Together, just like how we wanted..."

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"But... right now... I guess... its really..."

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"Just not meant to be..."

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"So please move on, I know that what I'm asking is selfish, I know it's not easy but... Even without me... I want you to be someone great... I just want you to be happy... and I know, it can be possible! You can do it. Who knows... Maybe in the future or another lifetime..."

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"We'll meet again..."

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"And then... in that life, we'll never be separated again... It'll be perfect. We'll have a family, we'll be really happy, complete. Together..."

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I could still hear her voice trembling and cracking as she said each word.... 

I could still feel the same agony and pain that came piercing right through me with those words... 

I'm sure she never wanted to say such things to me. I'm sure as much as it hurts for me, she was the one who felt the most pain... But... I guess she just really felt the need to do so, cause she knew that... all my life... everything that makes me a whole... all of me... was her... and nothing else... she was my everything... my world... and now... I've lost everything... I have nothing... and my world is... dark... cold... and empty...

NO, not even those words can express how empty and lonely I felt... and still feeling... Honestly, I'm amazed I'm not yet numb, after all that happened.

"I'm really trying Rhain.... I'm trying..." I whispered to her grave I knew wouldn't answer but, she was there, somehow it felt like she could hear me, like she was with me there... 

I know I should move on, and I'm definitely trying but... it just hurts so much. It's easier said than done. My family and your family tried making me feel better, I tried getting jobs, tons of it, I tried over-working, if that would make me forget. I've been suggested to move to another town, I grabbed the opportunity, knowing it was what you wanted, I tried to start a new, but nothing  helped. I always just found myself coming back here. To where you are, to where we met, to the place you loved so much, the place where our love was. I want you back Rhain, even though I know, I knew, everyone knew that was clearly impossible, cause you're never coming back.

I know I should get a grip of myself, but... I still can't stop myself from thinking that this is just a nightmare I need to wake up from, and when I wake up everything would be normal again and you would be there... we'll be together again.

I know that, that's just a make believe reality, and I can't keep on believing that forever, but... I just really want to see you... touch you... hear you or even just breath the same air as you... even for just a split second, just for one last time... 

Maybe then... 

I'll be willing to accept everything but of course I thought about that already and have repeatedly asked myself, Wouldn't that just make it harder? Exactly. But, right now I just... don't care...

Since all else seems impossible... I'm just gonna go see you Rhain... Since you can't come back then I'm just gonna follow you...  I'm the one who will go there to see you... "I wanna see you... Rhain..."