Adopted By Jacob Sartorius

Chapter One

"Becky! Get your ass down here now!" Mrs. Anuslicker yelled from downstairs.

"Ugh! Let me put on my eyeliner," I yelled back while smudging my eyeliner on purpose. Rawr xD I'm so emo!

Lol jk, emos are satanic and goth 😡😤

I'm a hipster xDD I luv to listen to Nirvana cuz no one listens to them anymore and that's so hip!

I straightened my majestic hardcore fringe and put on my beanie. I picked up my soy free coffee and took a sip. Then I put on a bvb shirt over my black lace bra and black ripped skinny jeans over my black lace thong xD I'm so lewd!!

I put on foundation and concealer. Then I put on 500 coats of mascara and black lipstick.

Then I put on Ugg boots to complete the look 😘❤

"BECKY! GET THE FUCK OVER HERE," Mrs.Anuslicker screams.

"I'M COMING YOU CUM LICKER," I screamed as I ran down the steps.

"Now, someone very rich and famous is here today. Anyone who doesn't have blonde hair, white skin, straight hair, and blue eyes can go up to their rooms because no one wants to adopt you thx," Mrs. Anuslicker said.

Most of the girls muttered and stomped up their rooms. Kylie, was the only girl left besides me. Kylie put on a wig and blue contacts. 😡😱

"Becky, you're not a white girl. Out!" Mrs. Anuslicker angrily quacked.

"Being blind is bad for your eyes," I stared at her red fuming face.

"Shit man, I can cut my wrists with that edge of yours," she snickered.

I got so triggered I bit her!!

I angrily rawred at her at maximum force and knocked that bitch out.

"Omg Becky, you're emo! Get away from me!" Kylie screamed and shielded herself with her highlighter and eyeliner.

I rawred at Kylie and nothing happened.

"OMG THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" I cried.

"Miss me with that gay shit, you bouta catch these hands!" Kylie suddenly threw her highlighter at me and hit my head.

I felt dizzy and suddenly everything became black like 2007 Pete Wentz's hair and eyeliner.

"Bitch you shook," Kylie said venomously and updated her feminist blog.

I passed out.
---

Kylie's POV

Ha, that emo bitch be tripping. I quickly wrote a new text post for my tumblr blog.

Post 1975:

If you ever see an emo shit, quickly throw your highlighter at them because those little emo vampires fear anything that shines or sparkles. Bitch, they gonna be scared of you anyways because you're shining and slaying at the same time cause you the baddest of all the bitches 👏👏👏 😂😂😈👀👅💦💦🍆🔥💕👌

I hit post and smiled triumphantly as I quickly received notes.

Mrs. Anuslicker suddenly sprung up from the foor and looked at Becky. She smirked devilishly and dragged Becky to the fire place. I filmed her, laughed evily as my head turned around 420°.

Becky was thrown into the fire place and everyone cheered. I posted the video to YouTube and quickly received over 100M views.

Everyone cheered online and Barack Obama suddenly announced that America would be celebrating the day Becky died each year.