Angry | NatePat

two

Nate didn't like to worry about other people, so it had become something that set in his mentality to avoid any people that caused him to worry. However, Matthew was a different story. This feminine boy with the bruises and the pretty eyes nearly drove him to the brink of insanity with worry yet he couldn't find the means of avoiding him. They had, had two studying sessions and in each one Matthew was happily smiling until the session was drawing to a close. His eyes would flood with fear and his quick breaths reflected the panic attack-driven ones he knew his mother to have.

Something in Nate wanted to keep Matthew safe, but he couldn't let the boy know that. He kept a stoic appearance whenever they hung around each other. He never smiled, he hadn't before he met Matthew and he didn't intend on letting his gentler side show. Of course, he fell weak when the boy would wrap his arms around him and the scent of vanilla seeping from his hair filled his nostrils. Honestly, cute animals couldn't make him melt in the way Matthew's coffee toned irises could. God, those eyes made him want to just give up on his studies and spend the rest of his life describing how they reflected every emotion he felt or how when the sunlight hit them, they would glow like shining bronze coins.

Jason had labeled Nate's feelings for Matthew as infatuation, as he seemed very interested in the physical aspects of Mat over other things. Of course, he had to agree as he had only known the boy for a few weeks now. He did want to turn their relationship into something much more, even being close friends with Matthew would make Nate happy. This was all he had going for him as the brunette was reserved, and spent the majority of their time spent together talking about math or attempting to make Nate happy. His biggest goal was to make him smile, and it pained Nate that he couldn't just pull a smile onto his face but he had been so used to not only being disappointed in his life but having the people around him calling him disappointing that he couldn't. Matthew would often times do stupidly adorable things in desperate attempts to make Nate smile, but his tries were all in vain as he wouldn't even laugh, just blow harsh air through his nose.

"Why do you laugh like that?" Matthew giggled as Nate covered his mouth with his hand, almost snorting but no noise other than a steady stream of controlled air spitting out of his nose after they had watched someone fall in the library. Nate had an odd sense of humor, Matthew knew this and he often felt embarrassed when his 'student' laughed at other's pain, but sometimes it was amusing.

"Means I don't have to smile," Nate replied, scribbling down the final answer to the worksheet he was working on. He passed it to Matthew, who proudly smiled as he checked off the questions that Nate succeeded in getting correct. There were a few minor computation errors, but other than that he did very well. Matthew praised him with a kiss on the cheek and it took a lot for the dark haired teenager to not immediately break out into a large smile. He couldn't let himself slip up and just get attached to someone who just happens to be nice to everyone. Nate wasn't special, he was just some project to make smile.

Or, was he not? There was no way Matthew actually cared about his wellbeing, as they had only known each other for a few weeks. From the moment they met, all it seemed like was the smaller boy had a bet with himself that he could make Nate smile and he was awful good at trying. Nate was worried that if he gave in and showed how happy just being around his new... friend? tutor? made him, that he would just end up leaving or dropping the nice act. He didn't- couldn't, get attached to another person. Sharing everything with Jason was enough for him to feel uncomfortable that people would know he was gay, though Jason swore on his existence that he wouldn't tell anyone.

"Why don't you smile, Nate?" Matthew was packing up his textbooks and cleaning up the area when he looked up, soft brown bangs falling over his forehead and slightly covering his eyes. The white flower crown he adorned was slipping off, but once he had put away all of his things, he adjusted it and awaited Nate's reply.