Shards

Chapter 4 - Unstoppable Emotions

I don’t know when I wake up. My eyes open slowly. They’re pretty much glued together so it takes me some time to rub them free. I must’ve turned around while sleeping because my back’s facing Jurian. His arm is over me and it’s quite heavy. I don’t feel comfortable. I try to slide away but I get a feeling that it’d wake him up so I stay steady where I’m at. His breathing is close to my ear and it’s hot against my neck. It’s quite bothersome. He’s close to me and the bed sheets are making me feel sweaty. My top is sticking to my skin. I sigh in defeat. I try to keep still but I feel uncomfortable. Not to add I’m thirsty.

  Very thirsty.

  I slowly lift Jurian’s arm off me and rotate my body so that I can sit up on the bed-

  I shriek. The shoulder again… the pain’s gotten worse. My eyes quickly fly to Jurian. He frowns but his eyes are still closed. I hope he’s asleep. Well, if he was awake he’d probably ask me if I was okay. How can such a calm-faced person throw a snowball with such a force?

  I hear a cat’s meow accompanied the jingle of bells. I’m searching for the cat with my eyes but there’s no sign of its existence. I sigh and noiselessly stand up, walking on my toes toward my bag. I take a set of spare clothes and take my leave for the bathroom. I quickly step into the shower, letting the water wash the sweat off my body. After drying myself I put on my simple black leggings and red plaid shirt. I’m back at Jurian’s room. He’s still on the bed, breathing quietly. I don’t know what to do. He’s still asleep so my options are very limited. My eyes are on his desk and its set of drawers.

  I open one of the drawers. There lays the set of books I gave to Jurian recently as well as a pile of red-tinted lined sheets. I pick the sheets up and turn them around. I smile at Jurian’s handwriting. It’s so neat. It’s easy to read. The smile washes off my face slowly as I begin reading on and on. All of the notes are about war. The books. And army… there’s two sets of notes on the army. One copied from the books (I know because I’ve read them) and another, simpler copy, slightly different to its fraternal twin.

  Those, of course, are not the only notes. There’s more about the war.  How they were won, how they were lost. World wars, wars that weren’t worldwide. The notes are all so detailed… I hear the meow again; I ignore it, knowing that I won’t find the cat anyway. The notes have everything in them.

  But there’s one gap.

  ‘Why does nobody know that wars existed?’

  I could easily fill in that blank. I have the sheet with me, faithfully waiting for me in my bag. But I won’t show it to Jurian. At least not yet.

  Or ever, I think.

  I flip through the pages again and again. I’m thinking of their detail once again. The books I let Jurian borrow were made up mainly of exactly the same information. I look through them again. I read them over and over. They’re not the same as the books but they include all the key things… at least what seemed the most important to me. Two things catch my attention.

  To kill: to cause death of a person.

  Death penalty: punishment by being killed.

  So that’s what they meant. I still don’t understand how it’s possible to cause someone’s death. Anyway, how did Jurian find this information? Ah, I remember. Grandpa had an old dictionary in his basement. I let Jurian borrow it some time ago. It’s sitting in one of his drawers as well. Jurian is probably still sleeping. My eyes look up to check up on him. He’s up, leaning against the wall, staring at me. He gives me a gentle smile. It’s too late to put the notes away so I just set them on his desk.