Shards

Chapter 13 - Shards

I’m out of the bathroom, the dress hanging on my body. It works well. It’s very big on me, so big that I have to suspend the sleeves with hair bobbles. I made up my mind. I had to. And I have to do it now.

  I head back to Jurian’s study. There’s paper there – that’s what I need. I also take a fancy fountain pen of his. On the note I just write down the directions to the field I went and tell him to meet me there. We need a calm place to talk. Not here, it’s too frantic here.

  I plaster the note on one of the walls of the conference room, the one close to the door of its exit. I go outside and stroll down to the field along with the white cat. It has a piece of string which it drags across the ground. Attached to the string are three crimson red glass balls. It’s strange to see but I shrug it off.

  I sit down on the grass as usual. The sun is still shining brightly. The birds hum and insects sing. Apart from that everything is quiet. Not a single cloud in the sky, just its brightness, the sun just above me. I smile up at it and sigh.

  I run the conversation I’m planning to hold in my head. Maybe I should blackmail him using the marriage agreement? The baby? I can’t really predict his actions anymore. Perhaps I shouldn’t tell him at all. I imagine the scene of the aftermath of the battle with Otro. Then the place that used to be my home. The explosion.

  It has to stop.

  I can’t just sit by anymore. I don’t want the situation to get any worse than it already is. Perhaps people had noticed that there’s something wrong with the situation by now. Maybe they know that killing is bad? I can only imagine their pain now. If we think of it just as of death it isn’t anything much. But I don’t want anybody other than time to choose my end. I want the things to go back to normal. Can they be normal again? I’ll try to bargain with Jurian.

  I stand up. The white cat meows three times, the bells from its collar jingling along to its voice. I lean down and pet it. The cat pushes its head into my hand, purring. I smile.

  “I finally got to touch you.”

  I straighten up my back and stretch. Somebody pokes me on my shoulder. I swirl my body around. It’s Jurian. He smiles down at me and touches my cheek with the palm of his hand.

  “Hi,” I say.

  “Hi,” he replies.

  “What brings you here?”

  “Your invitation, of course,” he whispers. “What else would it be?”

  I giggle. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “Why did you invite me here?”

  “I need to talk to you,” I say. “The hideout isn’t the best place to talk.”

  “It’s very quiet here indeed,” he says. “Too quiet.”

  “I like the calmness.”

  He’s wearing his fancy uniform, his hat on. His eyes are calm, his free hand in one of his pockets. The other one is still touching my cheek.

  “What would you like to talk about?” He asks.

  “About war,” I say. “I think it’s better if we talk about it.”

  “I see…” he purrs. “The war.”

  “Yes.”

  “What about the war?”

  I don’t want to speak. I avert my eyes, focusing them on a nearby tree.

  “Blanca, what is it?”