Discovering Me

Who Am I

I have never truly known who I am I have always staggered apon life as its a mystery. My early childhood up until the age of 6 years old was a blast I enjoyed life for it was simple. Like how Santa came at Christmas with all my presents down the chimney. Just the anticipation to see those gifts in the morning was amazing.

from the age of 7 onwards I spent the most part of my life moving from house to house school to school. Friends to friends. I never have had a true friend, any chance of that is long gone. every friend circle I stepped into I stepped out of just as it got good. The only friend I thought I did have stabbed me in the back, turned his nose up as he saw me for the last time in his life.

So far in the fifteen years of my existance I have up and moved nineteen times. ive had more houses than you have hot dinners. Going back a few years now; at the age of eight I found first love. My sweetheart, my forever loved. A girl by the name of Lily. As young as I was as fragile as my mind was I stumbled into what felt like a trap. Seven years on and I still devote my heart to her.

I tried to contact here when I was thirteen. My efforts payed off and it turned out she had feelings for me. Getting to this conclusion took me down a spiral stairway to hell and back. I have never felt so hated in all my life. Being told lies about yourself lies you never told; its kind of hurtful. Before she told me her feelings for me she made it ni-on impossible for any glimpse of care to show. She made me feel worthless like I didn't deserve life. Then right at my highest she dropped my down again, with no more than  sorry I did it so I didn't hurt you again, I don't want to send you down the same death wittling path I did before.

I knew then that this was lies and she herself was damaged and frightend of what the future may hold if we remained together. A little fact you didn't know is that for her I parted with the nicest girl one could meet. A lovely girl called charley. I miss-treated her countless times. I turned up two hours late to our second date. I didn't have the most amount of money but I tried my best to play the part. I truly cared for this girl. I didn't realise it then but now I realise what a dick I was. I ditched her for a girl I thought was all almighty but really she wasn't all that. I looked up Lily recently and realised such a mistake I made falling for her, she wasn't all that at all. She has now lost all self respect and has become your average half naked stoner.

The foolish things a young boy does. I messaged Charley and apologised for what I did and how I know that I was such a dick head. She agreed I was a bit of a twat. But shes happier now with another boy and to be honest I'm glad.