Firsts

11

"What's wrong Em?"

I was rushing around the restaurant, feeling like my mom had just slapped me in the face.

"Ethan... it's my mom. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. I have to go I'm so sorry."

I hurried out of the booth and exit the bakery darting to my hotel as fast as possible.

"Emma! Wait!"

Ethan ran after me without hesitation.

"Sir you have to pay for that- Monsieur!"

"Emma!"

I stopped running down the long Mulhouse sidewalk, decorated in red and yellow florals. The clouds were heavily concentrated in the bright blue sky, but nothing compared to the beautiful sight of me turning around to lock eyes with Ethan.

"Stay Emma, one more night. Please"

He walked closer to me with a face I just wanted kiss. His eyes were so focused on mine, and his mouth drooped down to somewhat of a frown. His hands hung at his sides, body waiting for me to reply.

"I can't Ethan. My mom- my mom is inside and expecting me to go now. My stuff isn't even packed..."

I turned again and continued to walk.

Saying it out loud seemed like an even worse idea. There is no way that my mom would be able to let me stay in France. Not alone. And no way that she would cancel our flight and get new tickets. As much as I wanna stay, nothing in this situation is on my side.

Ethan ran to catch up and grabbed my wrist harshly, turning me around to look at him again.

I sighed, wanting this more than ever, eyes getting watery in the moment.

"Life is one big, fat, mess. Nothing will be perfect. But Em, I am trying my best to make it that. Perfect, for you. I haven't tried this much in a while. Not before you came along."

I look down and his big hand is still wrapped my wrist. His eyes follow mine, looking at our touch that meant so much. He moves his hands letting go of my wrist, grabbing my hand instead, resting his other on top.

"I'll buy your ticket. Anything. I just need you for a little longer."

I looked back into his eyes, glossy from the sunlight. His words were so sincere, so genuine.

This feeling, was like being torn away from something you want to stay with so bad. Ethan has always been my idea of a dream, a partner, a lifestyle. Him begging me to stay, my mom texting me that I need to get back, my heart is torn from what I want and the decision I know I have to make called reality.

And then- there was nothing. Nothing but the choice between living and leaving.

"If I stay" ...