I'm Sorry, Forgive me?

Chapter 3

Later that night, I'm sitting at the dinner table with my parents and Kayla's parents. It still hurts just to see them sitting across from me. It breaks my heart because when I see them I think of Kayla.. and when I think of Kayla... well... I break down, I cry, I find the drugs, and then I do what I do best.. blame myself for her disappearance and now murder.

I still have no idea why ANYONE would hurt her. She was so sweet and caring. I loved everything about her. She was my other half. Even at a young age, I knew we were meant to be best friends our entire lives.

"Jesse? Sweetie, you alright? Your eyes are red."

I look up at my mom and smile at her. I nod, "I'm fine, mom. I promise"

She smiles and nods at me before talking to Mrs. Stewart again.

I finish my food and excuse myself. I walk upstairs and close my door and sit on the edge of my bed, and put my face in my hands. Its been years.. why am I still so.. broken? I don't understand! I should be better! I should've moved on by now! Why the fuck is this still on my mind! Why the hell is she still the only thing on my mind. I run my fingers through my hair and pull on it a little. As tears start streaming down my face again. I get up, wiping my eyes. I need to stop this. I feel so.. stupid... I feel so..weak when I cry. It hurts. I miss her. I miss her so much, I'd do anything to get her back.. I walk over to the window, and lean against it, looking out it. I see someone walking in the woods behind our house. I squint and it looks like Kayla. My eyes widen.

"Kayla?" I run downstairs and out the back door, running into the woods, screaming for her. Yelling for her. Running. I yell for her. I look around.

"Kayla, I know its you. Its me.. Jesse. Please, come out! I can help you! I'm here for you!"

After searching for another hour through the woods, I sigh as I make my way home. I walk inside and my mom immediately runs over.

"Jesse, what was that? Where have you been? We've tried calling you a thousand times!"

"I saw her, mom.. I know it. I know I saw Makayla!"

She sighs, pulling me into a hug. "Oh sweetheart... She's gone. I know you want her to be alive. But, they found her body. They identified it as her."

"They weren't 100% sure, mom. Her face.. she was so... She was so mutilated. It wasn't her. We had that bond... If she were dead, I would feel it. And until they are 100% -- no. 1000% sure it was her.. I won't give up."

She sighs, "Jesse.. you're gonna go crazy if you keep doing this. You're gonna drive yourself so mad"

"She was my best friend, mom. I loved her so much. I can't just give up on her.."

She nods and rubs my arm. "Please, Jesse. Just give it a rest for the time being. Okay? Just a few days to relax and clear your mind."

I nod, "Fine, mom. I'll be in my room." I head back inside and go upstairs.

I sit on the edge of my bed and sigh, putting my face in my hands and running my fingers through my hair. How do I convince my family and Makayla's family that she is out there... that there is hope she is alive and trying to get home. I walk over to my desk and sit down. I turn my laptop on, and go to google. The best way to prove she is out there is to prove that others have also seen her.

20 minutes later, I'm on google, running out of things to search. I go back to the google main screen and sigh,

"Think Jesse... think..." My head shoots up, and I look at the screen, "yes! Of course!"

I automatically type in Makayla's name in the search engine and wait for what feels like eternity, while it loads. The first to pop up is her facebook page, the second link is too a missing persons facebook page. I click on it and I see a picture of Makayla as a young girl on the page.. I see her missing flier uploaded, I sigh, looking at the picture we used. She was so young, so innocent. I really did love this girl. Maybe at the time, as a sister. But maybe I was in love with her. But, I was 7 years old at the time. 7 year olds have no idea what love even is, besides the love you feel from your family. Well, if you're lucky like Kayla and I were. Our families loved us, and we could tell. Us being only children, it really did help knowing they loved us. Kayla was always there.. a few feet beside me, our entire lives.

As I stare at the picture, millions of memories run through my head.

I laugh, "Kayla! I can't push you any higher!"

She giggles, "Sure you can! Push!"

I try to push as hard as I can, pushing her a little higher,

"See? I told you, you could do it. Just like you could do anything you put your mind too!"

I smile, "You really are my best friend, Makayla. I hope you know that."

She grins, and hops off the swing. "I know. And you are my best friend. Forever!"

I look at her, "Best friends forever. No matter what!"

I let the tears fall. I really did let her down. I didn't save her. I should have been there. I should have done something. I sigh, as I wipe my eyes as I see a comment underneath he picture of her. I click on it, and my heart speeds up. This is exactly what I've been looking for. Reports. Any type of reports.. There are others who believe she is alive too! And they've seen her, just as I did in the woods. She is out there and she is close. I can feel it!

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Thank you to those who have been patient! It means a lot! Also, thank you to those who have read this! Lemme know what you think so far!! :)

Cae