Im Gonna Talk Until I Get Bored

i need help with a boy problem

Please remember all names have been changed.

Ok so I have a friend who's a guy (lets call him Allan) and he's one of my best friends and I kinda hate myself because when we first started becoming friends, I promised myself that I would NOT develop a crush on him and that he would be my guy friend only. We've been really good friends for like almost a year now. The thing is. We are everyone's OTP at school. Everyone thinks we are like the most adorable "couple" ever even though we're NOT a couple at all. We both have always denied liking each other even though I have to admit we do kinda look adorable when we're together. Even I can admit that lol. But anyway he has a crush on this girl (let's call her Lorraine) who's one of my friends. I never cared until I went to this festival that I go to every year with my family. Of course now my family is split up and confusing so I kinda went alone and hung out with my friends. The first day of the festival I hung out with my friends Hope and Farryn. Later on in the festival though Allan came too after hockey practice and all 4 of us hung out. Of course a ton of people from my school were there and were like "OMG its Allan and Wendy they're so cute together" and we were like "yea no". The next day same thing only instead of Hope and Farryn it was Mrs. Patricy and my friend Valentine. Allan came again and we all hung out for awhile playing games and random stuff. After the festival that night Mrs. Patricy took me, Vic, and my friend Heather (who goes to Patricy and my's church) to the store to get dinner food and then back to Patricy's house to spend the night. The next day I went to church with her and that night I went back to the fest and hung out with Allan, Farryn, and hope again. Later on Farryn and hope left early and Allan and I hung out. Until Lorraine (Allan's crush) showed up and started mentioning how cute Allan and I were. I tried to be his wing girl and help him out and by the end of the night I ended up spending $7 and I killed a goldfish to help him talk to Lorraine. But then I realized I was jealous AF and I got mad at myself while playing a game called big 6 where I wasted all my money while Allan hung out with Lorraine. Later on though he came back and we hung out again and his mom drove me home. Afterwards though I told Valentine I was jealous and she tried to get me to admit to myself that I like him.

I STILL REFUSE.

-ANONYMOUS DREAMER-