Fix Me, Save Me

Popstars...Famous

Dear diary,

                  I found a family. It consists of 4 crazy boys and 1 sensible boy but I don’t mind. They do their part of keeping me strong and caring for me till I’m no longer here. I had a horrible dream last night about dying. I’m scared to get attached to the boys because it’ll be difficult to say goodbye but at the same time I want to be near them all the time. I love all 5 boys, Liam looks after me while Niall and Louis make me laugh. I haven’t really had time with Zayn yet but I love Harry just for talking to me in the care home.

What do you think dying feels like? Will it hurt, will I feel it? I wish someone knew, then I could prepare myself for the worse. Do you think doctors make mistakes? They say someone’s dead when they aren’t. What if they put someone underground who’s still alive? It’s a stupid question but it could be possible. Doctors know what they’re doing I just wish they would get a move on with a cure for leukaemia.

Hopefully in the future they’ll find a cure so that kids like me won’t suffer the same fate. All the families that go through the same heartbreak. The 4 silent words that no one wants to hear’ your daughter/son had cancer’. It hurts to lose close ones and it hurts to leave. It’s the struggle they could through, the pain that stays forever. All the time the parents try to stay strong when really mum is crying in the bedroom while the child is sleeping and dad is breaking down a work. Still they hold on for dear life and try everything in their power to save what they’re losing.

People believe in God, why he’s nothing special? If there was a God he wouldn’t give children cancer, in fact he wouldn’t even create cancer.

The boys say we’re going to a concert tomorrow night, at the O2 Arena I think. They haven’t told me who’s playing but they say they got the best seats of the house.

Love Emily x

“Emily wake up”.

“That tickles”. I sat up and pushed Louis away. I’ve been ignoring him for the past 5 minutes but when he started tickling my nose with a feather I knew I wasn’t going to get back to sleep.

“I hate you” I muttered as I swung my legs out of bed.

“No you don’t, you love me” he said and tapped me on the nose.

“Leave me alone Louis” I said” I want to get ready”.

“But why, you look so good in your pyjamas, I wouldn’t change you” he said and picked me up.

“Louis put me down. I do not want to see your butt so early in the morning” I shouted. Louis started skipping out my room and downstairs into the lounge.

“Let me go” I screamed.

“What is going on down here? Louis it’s 7 in the morning” Liam shouted. Somebody’s not a morning person. Oh well neither am I.

“She woke me up, she asked me” Louis protested.

“I did not. You’ve been waking me up all morning. Then you wouldn’t let me change when I finally got up” I shouted from behind him. I really just want a better view that Louis’s butt even though he has jeans on.

“Set her down Louis. Seeing as you have woken us all up, you can go and fetch breakfast” Liam said. Louis grumbled something as he set me back down on my feet.

“Off you pop then Louis. Teach you twice before getting up at 7 won’t it” Liam said and waved as Louis trudged downstairs. I laughed a little.

“Come on Em, we’ll go get ready and then see who can wake up the boys fastest” Liam said. I nodded and ran into my room. Taking my nightie off I pulled on my red t-shirts and blue jeans then ran back out the room only to bump into Liam.