Let's Pretend (5sos Adoption Story)

0.8

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!!! I'm really sorry about the wait, I had to fly to Boston, MA for a thing lol. But, I did get to explore that fabulous city. Like actually though, omg Boston is so underrated, it's actually a really awesome city. Visit if you haven't yet, you've no idea what you're missing. It's balls cold there in the fall/winter though. IMPORTANT -----> In other news, sorry for the change but I'm making Allie from Boston now because I'm in love with that city. Lol, I'm such a weirdo. ANYWAY, here's the chapter:

It was the morning after my break down and I really didn't feel like going to school. I had been laying in bed wide awake for maybe an hour. I looked across the room at digital clock on my desk. It had a crack in the plastic from the night before but I could read the numbers. 8:03. School starts at 8:30. I should've been downstairs three minutes ago.

I sighed and rolled out of bed. Rubbing my eyes, I crossed the room and opened the door. Still in my pajamas, I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. I don't know why, but I was expecting no one to be there. Like maybe yesterday was enough to make them ignore me completely. But the four of them were there eating cereal or toast or something else.

Calum was the first one to spot me when I came into the kitchen quietly. He elbowed Michael who sat next to him sharply in the ribs and Michael almost spit out his cereal. He glared at Calum who gestured to me not-so-subtly with his head. Michael had seen me too now and was pretending he hadn't. Great. Luke was the last to notice me and of course he was the only one brave enough to speak up.

"Hey, Allie," he said looking at me with wide eyes.

I bit my lip, guilt creeping in. Stop it, you don't owe them anything.

"Hi," I answered shortly.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Fine."

Luke nodded. "That's good. You're gonna be late for school."

I drummed my fingers on the counter top. "I know."

"Go get dressed. I'll take you."

Part of me still wanted to yell but I turned silently and exited the kitchen. I got dressed quickly and came back down, backpack slung over my shoulder. I pulled on my only pair of shoes, two year old converse and followed Luke to his car.

The ride was awkward. Neither of us spoke. He didn't even look at me. Finally, he pulled into the parking lot. It was 8:50. I was so late. I was about to jump out but Luke spoke suddenly. "Did we do something wrong?"

I looked over at him in surprise. For a moment, I gave his question some serious thought. In the grand scheme of things, no they hadn't. They were nice, they fed me, gave me a nice room, put me into a great school. They even got me a phone. They did everything right. But the simple act of fostering me was what put me off. Clearly they'd all had easy lives. They'd probably all grown up with their biological parents. Their pain was probably limited to a few heartbreaks. Easy.

It wasn't just that they didn't understand, it was that they couldn't possibly understand. They didn't have the life experiences therefore they didn't have the capacity. "Yes," I said. "But you could never possibly understand what or why."

Luke looked at me with large, pleading blue eyes. "Then explain it to me. Maybe-"

"Maybe nothing, Luke. I'm not going to explain it to you because it doesn't matter how hard you try, you can't know how much it hurts to be where I am."

"Try me," his expression changed to a sort of serious determination. Luke was the type of person who couldn't hide what he was thinking. Everything that went through his head passed through his expression. He was so kind, but at the same time terribly naive. And those two things were a dangerous combination.