Let's Pretend (5sos Adoption Story)

0.4

I fell asleep like that. When I woke up, I was leaning against my bed and I could feel the dry tears on my cheeks. My shoulders hurt like hell. The picture of Cecilia was still in my hand, it had wrinkle marks where I had clutched it too hard in my sleep. I stared down at it, and she stared right back, her expression of unmasked joy frozen on this little slip of paper. I missed her so bad.

Three Years Ago

Cecilia wrapped her arms around my torso gently, sniffling into my shirt. I reciprocated her hug, snaking my own arms around her shoulders. "I'm gonna miss you so much," she muttered.

I buried my face in her hair, taking in her scent of pine and nutmeg. She always smelled like that, like Christmas. "Me too," my voice cracked on the end.

The memory made my head hurt. I pressed my fingers to my temple, groaning. For the first time I noticed that it was day. Light was streaming through the windows. It didn't help my headache. I stood shakily, but apparently too fast. Spots danced across my vision. I steadied myself on the side of bed, letting the picture drop from my grasp.

I watched it flutter to the floor sadly, but I didn't go to pick it up. I didn't belong here. I belonged in Massachusetts with Cecilia. I looked around, searching for my phone. It was by the door with the rest of my things from the shopping trip. I grabbed it and unlocked it, opening safari. I tapped the search bar and put in 'Boston, Winter.' The first thing to come up was a picture of The Boston Common, covered in up to three feet of snow. That was what Boston winter was like, harsh and unforgiving. Somehow, I still loved it. It sounded silly but I missed the cold.

I stared at the picture for a minute before locking my phone and shoving it into the back pocket of my jeans, which I had slept in. Again. I sighed and made my way downstairs, toward the kitchen near the back of the house.

Calum was sitting at the counter scarfing down a bowl of cereal. Luke was next to him, flipping boredly through a magazine. When I came in they both looked up, Luke tossed his magazine back onto the counter. "Allie!" He said.

"Yeah?" I said, rubbing my eyes.

"D'you know what time it is?"

I shrugged, picking at the hem of my shirt. "Dunno, like early?"

Luke scoffed. "It's eleven. You slept for twenty five hours."

I blinked. "What the hell? How?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Ashton sent me up to check on you last night, y'know to call you down for dinner. You were sleeping like a rock."

I slumped against the counter. "Jeez."

"Seriouthfly," Calum chimed in through a mouthful of corn flakes. He swallowed. "We totally thought you were dead."

"Ugh," I ran my hands through my hair. "I feel dead." I sighed. "So where are Michael and Ashton?"

"Michael is sleeping," said Luke. "Ashton had to record. He'll be at the studio for a couple more hours."

"What day is it again?" I asked sheepishly.

"Sunday."

I closed my eyes. "I have school tomorrow. Dammit, I am not looking forward to that."

"Why not?" Luke asked.

"New school, new stuff, new people. I don't like new. It's annoying."

Luke pouted. "But we're your new family."

I froze. Family. I didn't have a family - no, Cecilia was my family. Besides, did they really want to be my family? I glared at the counter. I didn't dare look at either of the boys. I realized I was trembling. Did I want a new family? No, that was ridiculous. Cecilia would always be my family, no matter how far away she was.