fear｜ kth

『four;』

4:17PM;

the event has been very boring so far; apart from it; taehyung saw yujin a few times, but she didn't look at him and was laughing with a black haired male, to which she looked very close.「probably her boyfriend;」 taehyung thought.

all the 'successful' businessmen who lied about their lives being so 'perfect since they started doing business that in that particular way'; taehyung knew all of them lied, maybe they were successful in moneymaking but their lives certainly weren't as perfect as they seemed. as if he didn't notice how one of them had sudden shuddering attacks, stuttered hard and constantly dried his forehead with a tissue; either that one was taking drugs or he was trying to get out of them. or the one that had his water bottle next to him; 「water yeah right;」
everyone could notice that it was definitely not water in there, rather something like vodka.
the one that talked about 'the pyramid method' was constantly looking anxiously at his wife who was watching him with stern, hard eyes; that one couldn't be the one living the 'perfect lifestyle' either.

taehyung was so incredibly bored, he almost slept during one of the speeches; his father stepped on his foot to keep him awake.

he just wanted to go home; he just wanted his father to understand that he found no interest in this kind of things. time went by with each second being counted. his sweater was just too comfortable; he knew he will probably fall asleep soon. taehyung took his hand, which was covered by a sweater sleeve, in front of his mouth, warmly breathing into it; the sleeve was heating up, and since it was on his face, it felt like a pillow; like home. he just wanted to sit in front of his tv again, isolated in his little world where there wasn't any pain from outside, watching cartoons and shows; even if he knew that that would be his own little chronic pain. he was doing it again; this stupid activity that was ruining him through and through. its called overthinking. it was like where ever taehyung was; there was hell too.

the woman next to him was visibly irritated by him breathing so heavy.

4:58PM;

it finally ended and taehyung was protesting against his father wanting to take him to another speech, he got so loud that his father gave in; hoping to stop his son from attracting so much attention. taehyung was glad that his father let him go and got into the car first. his father got into the car too and taehyung earned the next flat hand on his cheek.

"what were you doing there?! first, you run into the women's toilet, and then you act like a fucking child!", taehyung knew exactly how mad his father was by his choice of words; fucking; it was a word his father never used, he thought it would be something only poor, stupid, young people used, if he ever used it, it meant that hell is coming.

5:14PM;

he had the feeling that his father drove especially fast this time. they got home; well rather his father drove to taehyungs home, got him out, and got out too; hell was about to start. he pulled him in by the hair. "just how can my son be such a disappointment?", taehyung was in incredible pain, he was begging his father to let him go, "you're a fucking embarrassment", his father said, throwing him almost into a wall; taehyungs back hit the wall. his father kicked him, aiming for the stomach, but he kicked an arm that was leading to his face, which his hands were covering. taehyungs father left the apartment. he got up, feeling pain in arm and stomach, which his elbow hit after it getting kicked back. he wiped his nose with the thick sleeves of his sweater and punched the wall he was standing in front of. anger, fear, sadness, and pure hatred spreading through him. he stumbled back with tears in his eyes; he stumbled to his bed, falling into it; back first. he stared at the ceiling, 「life's going out of hand;」 he thought.  his life was going out of hand, his job was a job at the customer service at a supermarket; he just had to work there about four times per week, he was rather just the one, who had to be there when one of the others was sick. the apartment was part of a building his father owned; he didn't have to pay a cent, his mother was occasionally bringing him homemade food; everything was either paid by his father or done by his mother. it was a very calm life to be thinking about, but taehyung just wasn't satisfied. 「;of course; he was the problem, he made everything worse than it was and was a pro at screwing up;」

he wanted to stop thinking.

『CHAPTER FOUR; ACHING』