This is my first ever fanfiction and is also my first J2 story. If I Stay is the first book within the trilogy, followed by Will You Stay, the Forever and Always. Hope you enjoy ;)
So as you can see this is my first time writing, so I'm sorry in advance for terrible writing. However, if there is any mistakes feel free to let me know and hopefully my writing gets better as I progress.
I was watching the stage as his name came up on the screen, "Jensen Ackles..." I breathed out quietly to myself, even his name sounds handsome. "Good luck man" I said as I patted my best friend on the back, he nodded slightly before picking up his guitar and walking on the stage, sitting down on a stool and strumming. I had a perfect view of him, his shirt tightening around his arm and he played his guitar and the passion on his face when singing each and every lyric. I watched him for about ten minutes until he said the next song was dedicated to her , i couldn't watch his focus on her as he sung, I couldn't watch the blush on her cheeks as she admired her man.
I strolled back to the trailer I was staying in for the weekend, don't get me wrong everything in it was comfortable and warm but I cant help but think about how warm it would be with Jensen here. How warm I'd be with his arms around me for more than 5 seconds. I pulled a beer out of the refrigerator and slouched down into the couch that was provided in the trailer, a stray tear slipped down my cheek. This is how I am, every time he dedicates a song to her. Yes I know she's his girlfriend but I think I'm in love with him and I can't help but feel broken knowing he's in love with someone else. I wish I could tell him, I wish he would understand, I wish he felt the same. "Jared, you in there bud, it's Rich" I could hear the concern in Richard's voice, Richard is the only person who knows that I like Jensen that way, and every time I walk off, he always follows to come see if I'm okay. I always tell him yes, but the truth is, I'm not. I need Jensen. I need his touch and not just in my dreams.
- 10 pm that evening - (picture is how I picture Jared answering the door)
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Jared was lying on the couch in his trailer like he had been for last couple of hours since he finished his talk with Mark when there was a knock on his shiny, too clean, trailer door. He pulled himself up off of the couch, a tear stained face from crying in his sleep and shuffled to the door, hair everywhere and not looking as smart or as healthy as he usually would. When he answered the door, the person standing there wasn't who he was expecting at this time of night, "Jensen? what's up?" Jared said, rubbing his eyes, trying to make it look like he was just having a lack of sleep lately and not crying his eyes out about the perfect, tall, bearded man standing in front of him. "Jay...can I stay with you the night? please?" Jensen sounded like he was breaking, so without hesitation Jared lead him in, put the kettle on, before settling on the couch next to Jensen. "what's up man? why aren't you with Danneel?" the moment Jared mentioned her name, he regretted it, Jensen started shaking and the anger within Jared started to build up. "We're just arguing a lot and I don't know what's happening, she said she wants a break, then she's saying she's sorry and didn't mean it. I wish I hadn't told her" Jared couldn't help but wonder what Jensen had told her to cause arguments and he also couldn't help but be happy about the fact that Jensen and her might be on a break, which might give him time to tell Jensen how he feels.
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- Earlier between Jensen and Danneel (I don't have anything against Danneel and I believe she is amazing, she is just like this for the story.) -
"Dan I'm sorry okay! its not like I have control over my sexuality! why can't you accept that I'm not going to cheat on you because I want to experiment it also doesn't mean that I don't love you. You know I love you, cant you just accept that I think I may find men sexually attractive too!" I cried to my girlfriend in anger for the millionth time this week, she's only known for two weeks and these two weeks have been the most emotional two weeks of my life and I don't know how much more I can take. I love her to pieces, I do, but I can't do this everyday. "Jensen! I can't just accept that! I thought you where straight!"
"you know what no, I'm not going to stand here and have this argument again, because you thought I was straight. no matter what my sexuality is, I still fudging love you! I'll see you tomorrow, I'm going to go see if I can stay with Jay for the night."
"Oh so Jared is the one you want, fine." Even though Jared was the one deep down, Jensen didn't let it get to him, he loved Jay as a brother, always has done. Always will, and with her mentioning Jared, he left his trailer cart and made his way to his best friends, the guy he loved, the guy who had helped him through everything, the guy he had helped through his depression, the guy he had dreams about and thought nothing of them before now.
So that was the introduction to the story, I'm sorry I know its bad, please forgive. I promise the next part will be better, the song I imagined Jensen singing to Danneel was The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson, the video is linked above. Hope you like this, all the love, always keep fighting xx
