If I Stay...

For the First Time

After Jensen had cried and told Jared what had gone on between him and Danneel, Jared just let Jensen lie on him and they just cuddled and watched a movie together. Jared loved this, and he knew he was loving it too much because Jensen was broken and taken. Besides the fact that Jared still didn't know what exactly Jensen was arguing about with Danneel, all he knew was that Danneel didn't accept something Jensen told her and that hurt Jared, because how could you not accept whatever the green eyed prince would tell you.

By the time they where halfway through the movie Jensen was asleep and mumbling to himself, Jared couldn't help but admire the adorableness radiating off of the older man. Taking the opportunity to take in each single detail of Jensen's features he smiled, the older mans cheeks were red with streaks of tear stains down them, little creases between his eyebrows as if frowning at something in a dream, and he was clearly stressed because his hair was messy and his beard was growing and looked like it hadn't been groomed in days. While Jensen was sleeping on Jared he decided now would be the time to practice his speech knowing Jensen won't hear it "Jen, you've been my best friend for years and you treat me like a brother, and I love you so much and I'm so grateful for having you in my life. But I need more, I need us more. The thing is I think I like you, but as more than a brother, or friend. I love you, like you love Danneel and I know you love her and I'm not going to come between you two, I just. I just needed to tell you so I didn't keep beating myself up saying what if... I'm sorry." what Jared didn't realise was that Jensen was a light sleeper, because from all the work they've done about Supernatural things he gets superstitious and sleeps lightly so that if any of it is real, he will be awake within seconds of hearing a noise. Jensen had heard every word Jared had said, and deep in the pit of his stomach there was butterflies doing summersaults. This is what Jensen had always dreamed of but thought he could never have and now he knows Jared feels the same, now might be his chance.

The next morning Jensen woke up in Jared's bed, no memory of how he got there but he knew that Jared would have carried him into bed, bridal style, made him smile. today they had the second out of three conventions in Vancouver, and for the first time in a while Jared was happy about getting to see Jensen sing because he was going to be able to watch the whole set without thinking of him dedicating a song to her. Today might be the only day he gets that. Jensen walked into the small kitchenette in Jared's trailer, shirt missing and boxers hanging low but he didn't care, it was only him and Jay, anyone else would be when he put his pants on. "Morin' Jay, thanks for last night man" Jensen mumbled huskily in his thick morning voice, Jared just nodded as he pushed a plate with breakfast burritos on in the direction of Jensen, encouraging him to eat them, and Jensen didn't wait two seconds before digging in to the hot, amazing, sex worthy food. "I can't wait to do the panel with you later, it seems like forever since we've been up there together" Jensen slurred as he ate away at the burrito, Jared smiled before replying to him, "Yeah, it should be good, but you singing is way better so I'm looking forward to see which songs you sing today." Jensen smiled, it always seemed to mean more to him when it was Jared's opinion of him, like other peoples mattered to him but if Jared didn't like how he did something, he'd do anything he could to change that for him. "what song would you like me to sing PadaPad" Jared giggled, yes giggled, at the nickname Jensen had just thought of for him before blushing, hoping his hair hid it and saying  " I'd love to hear you sing Crazy Love, I never seem to be around when you do that one so...that's the one I would love to hear." Both men smiled before going silent and finishing their food.

-

At the panel that afternoon, Jared was sitting to the side of the stage as this time Jensen was going to sing before they do their talking together. "So, last night was probably one of the nicest nights I've had in a while. Obviously, no-one knows about the ins and outs into our personal lives but what I can tell you is that recently I have had some issues, and last night I went to Jared. Not going to hide anything from you, yous are family, I went to Jared and I was really upset and he was so comforting, like a big teddy bear, he literally let me just hug him and it was great. Thanks Jay, I love you this song is for you...I can feel his heart beat from a thousand miles, and the heavens open, every time he smiles." As Jensen was talking a single tear slipped down Jared's cheek, he made Jensen happy last night, he helped the man he loved and he just told him that he loved him. Here he was, standing next to the stage, smiling up at the older man singing the lyrics back to him.

"He gives me, love, love, love, love

Crazy love.

He gives me love, love, love, love

Crazy love"

The fans awed as the men sung to each other, some believing it was a cute bromance moment and others believing it was a cute romance moment, both of the men where thinking the same thing. As the song came to an end, Jared climbed up onto the stage and pulled Jensen into a hug, whispering into his ear how he will always be here for him no matter what. After their little moment, the men sat down on stools and started taking questions off of the audience, they answered a few normal questions, like how's it going? why did Dean put Sam's toothbrush under his armpit? but what they weren't expecting was question that came next "Jensen, would you ever kiss Jared if it was for a dare and you where just messing about?" Jensen didn't know how to reply so Jared tried to, but he had a blush rising up his neck. "Well, I know you asked Jensen but I may as well reply why he attempts to gather his words. I think we would, well I'd kiss him for a dare, I mean come on it's what a 2 second thing for a game, and with Jensen Ackles. Wouldn't you?!" Jensen blushed, and the fans screamed in response. It wasn't a secret that Jared was into guys, he'd came out while at a convention in Chicago during their 2008 convention tour. If it wasn't for Jensen, Jared wouldn't be here and the fans had started to notice things that Jensen didn't; like how Jared always walked away when Jensen dedicated a song to Danneel, or how he'd had a few stray tears falling down his cheeks while Jensen was being coupley with Danneel. Maybe now was the time they try to get Jensen to notice too. Maybe if they did, Jared would be happy again, like he was before Jensen and Danneel went everywhere together so he had to see them everyday. 

That night fans across the world came together to get Jensen to notice the slight changes in Jared, they hoped it worked. So the next day at the final VanCon of the year, Jensen was about to sing The Way You Make Me Feel, which always makes Jared upset because it reminds him of every other time Jensen has dedicated it to her. Before Jensen could start a fan spoke really loudly to the girl next to her, "Hey, look at Jay. He looks like he's about to cry again." Making sure that Jensen heard it the girls looked  up at the green eyed man they so madly loved and smiled, and as they did he looked over towards Jared who had tears in his eyes and was about to leave as he always does once this song starts. But this time was different, because the fans had made Jensen notice the man who was in love with him not hiding his emotions from him, they'd made Jensen notice how much he was hurting Jared without realising it, they'd made him realise how much he wanted Jared. "This is dedicated to someone who isn't so far away right now, someone who has been there for me through the years and someone who I've had the pleasure of having by my side. This is The Way You Make Me Feel and it's dedicated to Jared, I love you Jay, don't cry. we'll talk later, I promise." the fans awed, Jared smiled through the tears and Jensen started singing, and for the first time, in what felt like forever, Jared was able to enjoy Jensen singing each song, including Michael Jackson. However, he couldn't help but worry about what he and Jensen was going to talk about later. Was this the day he told Jensen how he felt?