COLD BLUE

Chapter 7

SILENCE. Excoriating, unbearable silence. I look over to Abel to see him tightly grip on the steering wheel. I open my mouth, but quickly press my lips into a hard line as I couldn't find anything to say. 'Is he mad? Why his he mad?' My conscious ponders in this unsettling silence. I look at the streets we pass they seem familiar then realize that we were head towards my complex instead of his. "So you're taking me home, I see," I say shyly and I notice Abel tightens his grip on the wheel. I hear the leather make a sound under his hand. He steps on the gas pedal, and I feel the car accelerate. I feel myself beginning to become irritated. Who wouldn't after being in a car with someone who gives you a cold shoulder. "Okay what's your deal?" I finally snapped. "First, you don't say anything since you picked me up from school. Then, you take me home after we made plans to go to your place tonight! An-and, and You give James this cold look Abel I-" Abel slams the brakes and I hear them make a hard screeching noise.

I flew forward and suddenly taken back hitting the leather seats. Stop. The stoplight was red. My eyes were wide looking forward at the street dumbfounded. I scan my surroundings moving just my eyes, and to our convenience there weren't other vehicles around. I look at Abel and see him trembling with frustration. He's grinding his teeth and his eyes are wide and icy colored. "Abel?" I say softly and reach my hand to touch him. He quickly swaps my hand away. "Don't touch me!" He snaps, I looked at him shocked, taken back by his reaction. He sees my terrified expression and his eyes soften making him look away. I feel my eyes water a little having never seen this side of Abel before. He was always calm and collective and I've never seen him so frustrated, so confused. I reach my hand out to him again hesitating a little. He flinches then quickly grabs my hand holding it in the palms of his hands. Squeezes it lightly. "Abel," my voice breaks, but I don't cry. He didn't say anything and a sense of relief enters my body. Sadness comes over me as well, while I gaze at Abel. The light turns green interrupting our moment and we drive off from the stop light. The atmosphere is a little less tense. "Are you okay?" I ask hoping it wouldn't trigger another outburst. He looks at me narrowing his eyes. "I'm fine," he responds vaguely.

'Damn it Abel why are you doing this?' my conscious whines. I could never had a clue about what he was thinking. He never really expressed any emotions of thought and he was always so isolated. I felt gloomy when I thought about him being lonesome. It made me a little frustrated as well. "Are you sure you're fine?" I ask again hoping this time he would express an honest thought. "Emma, I'm fine just drop it."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you do that? When somethings off you show no emotions and you shut people out. Why do you do that?"

"It's none of your business. I don't have to explain myself to you." He says sharply. My heart constricts, as what he said struck a cord in me. Then I snap. "Seriously, stop being so arrogant! Can't you see that you're not the only affected here."

"Why do you care. You don't even know how to feel yourself."

"What are you talking about, I express what I feel."

"Do you really?"

"Yes! I think so. . . I'm pretty sure I do."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"I'm done trying to figure you out Abel, ever since we met I could never figure you! It's frustrating to see you so closed off from everyone. Like you don't care about being alone."

"What the hell do you know about it huh? You don't know me! You don't know why I prefer to be alone. You don't know what I've been through. I don't have to explain myself to anyone."

"Yeah, and how has that worked so far huh? You think after all this time you can just come on to me, knowing how I feel. And for what, just so you can put up this fucking wall, why didn't you just stay alone then?" I bursted. Abel stays quiet. I don't know how to respond and stay quiet for a moment too. The silence engulfs us for a moment making the tension between present. "It just upsets me, that you don't tell me what you think. That I don't know how you feel. Six years I've known you and yet it seems like I don't even know you at all. I just," I pause trying to hold back tears that were ready to come out. "I just want to get to know you," I sighed. The car stays silent for a moment more. 'Are things getting better or worse?' My conscious makes her snide comment. Then we come to a stop and he puts the car in park. 'This isn't my apartment complex,' my conscious realize as I look out the window. I hear Abel's door slam and before I have a chance to open mine he already on the passenger side opening the car door for me. "Thank you," I say politely hiding my upset tone. "You're, welcome," he grunts to my surprise. We stood in front of a huge building that was at least 30 floors tall. It looked more extravagant then my apartment complex, and they had a doorman at the front entrance.