4
Ok, so I don't think I slept at all that night. I have good thoughts about Jake and then there was the fact that I am going to have to see Blake today at school because he's in three of my classes. Needless to say I was not so late today, nope, I was the first in the kitchen, ready with very straight hair and the normal amount of eye liner and mascara sitting on the eyes. Mainly to make they look more awake than they were.
Today I had left my hair loose which made it all too easy to keep running my hands through it which is a really bad habit of mine and Sophia hates it. But hey, it brings a comfort to me, so never mind!
We got into the car and were on the way to the ferry in complete silence. Poppy had a exam and was reading through a book that would help her to get the A grade that she wanted. I did not have an exam so I dug out my iPod from the bottom of my huge bag and put on 'Pretty Wings' by Maxwell (you should listen to that it's really, really good!) I set it to repeat because I never tire of hearing this song; it's happy and sad at the same time. Far too quickly we were coming to a stop only to find that the ferry was on the other side of the river.
Man, I hate being early and having to wait out side in the freezing cold! It's not good!
Lucas was always there before us I don't know how he does it but he does, and I got that look that plainly said 'what are you doing?'
I gave him a puzzled look back - I had no idea what he was giving me that look for... what had I done now?
The ferry finally arrived and so did Rachel and Andrew. Thank God, because Poppy looked so miserable and Lucas just kept giving me that look and I knew that what ever I had done it was bad... or maybe he just wanted to talk to me without Poppy being around.
Lucas suddenly pulled me the back off of the ferry. I watched as Poppy's eyes filled with hate, wishing that she was me right now. I had to laugh to myself. I snapped out of that one pretty fast.
"Luke? What the hell?!"
"Yeah, what the Jodi?" He looked contented and mad at the same time, I'd never seen him like this he was always quiet.
"Wow... calm down what have I done to make you this mad?" I said with pure concern in my eyes.
"I'm not mad, I'm worried about you."
"Why?"
"What are you doing with your life? What are you doing to Blake and Jake?"
"I don't know... hey! How do you know about that?"
"Blake was on msn me last night and he was broken, trust me. He wouldn't tell me why, apart from it was to do with you and Jake. And I know that how many times he's hurt you is just, like, really, really wrong but I think he's really changed and do you really like Jake? 'Cause I don't think you do, I think you're just telling yourself that you do because you know that he will always be there for you and won't let you down, and the fact that if you're with him it will stop you from thinking about Blake." He took a deep breath, telling me he had finished.
Wow. I was speechless. I don't think me and Lucas have ever talked like that before. It was kind of scary. I never knew he knew me that well.
"Luke I don't know... I just don't know."
"I know. That's why I told you that before it's too late and you can't go back, because right now I'm thinking you can but I don't know... I don't know what you've said, haven't said, done or haven't done."
"...You're right... thanks Luke."
With that the ferry came to a stop thank god I don't know if I could take any more of the really serious conversation with Luke this early in the morning. We all climbed off of the ferry with the little energy that we had at 8:00am in the morning. Rachel cake up next to me making me jump.
